Titanic Kitsune
by The Swordslinger
Summary: New version coming soon: Yakuza Kitsune, check newest chapter for details
1. Chapter 1

I OWN NOTHING, if I did then Naruto would have been this badass you're about to see

Note: after seeing bloodyemperor's fic 'The true apprentice' I decided to launch a challenge for ya'll: make Naruto a villain's apprentice! Come on, I dare you, I DOUBLE dare you!

Here are the rules: harems are ok as well as whatever pairing with any girl, heroine or villainess, but NO yaoi, yaoi is FORBIDDEN! Naruto can be dark, insane or a smartass. Make Naruto an anti-hero like I'll do here, not a full villain, however he must rob banks and do villains' stuff. He can either have the villain's powers or powers of more villains, however he MUST have his jutsus, just don't make him overpowered, make it so heroes can have a chance to stand up to him a bit, before he either retreats or crushes them. And lastly, send me a PM when you write it so I can read it

**XXXXXX**

The final exam's bonus question

Slade knew one thing, he needed a heir, someone to carry on his legacy, his very own will and lifestyle. No one knew why, maybe it was age, maybe it was something he wanted to do to leave a mark in the world or maybe it was a whim. However, he never expected to find him…or his history. He wanted to try luck with a certain bird themed hero he found amusing and that had the potential to be his apprentice, to carry his ways and make a name in the world…but this one, this one far surpassed his expectations, and his powers were something that terrified even him.

The man had his arms crossed behind his back, standing in front of the numerous oversized screens and looking half boringly at them. He wore a black copper with a grey armor on most of his body, the only parts uncovered were covered by his suit, these being his lower torso and thighs, he also had armored boots and a belt with a lot of pouches. On his face was a steel mask which only exposed his left eye, that side being orange, the other black like his suit. This was Slade.

He then snapped his fingers and three holograms appeared before him in the vast and dark area in front of his throne.

The first was a big muscular teen with short brown hair and sideburns wearing a sleeveless full body suit with boots and bronze gauntlets. The other was a very small teen that seemed more like an eight years old, was bald, had a full body green suit, goggles atop his head and a circular metallic backpack.

However there was one person with those two that did catch the attention, and it wasn't Slade's but someone else's in that room. It was a pale grey skinned petite girl, she had pink hair combed upwards in what seemed two big horns and pink eyes with slit pupils that resembled a cat's. She wore a black dress with a short skirt, had purple and black leggings, black boots with high purple soles, a black chocker with a round purple gem hanging from it and a small purple cape hanging from her shoulders. The other presence beside Slade noted her bust was a high A-cup, could be a B…

In order of appearance those were Mammoth, Gizmo and Jinx, splendid students from the HIVE academy and hopeful soon to be villains. Looking at their possible future boss after being introduced by their principal they patiently waited for their orders and to finally get their diplomas, not wanting to fail and face the so called discipline.

It was time for the truth: "I know you three are interested in working for me…however I will not be your boss" Slade said, surprising the trio in front of him.

The HIVE trio had expected to work directly under him, a dark man working in secrecy who could teach them a lot about being a villain once they got to be full-fledged villains, but hearing that made them question the obvious, if Slade wasn't their boss then who was? And why would said person be their boss…could it mean he was even _stronger_ than Slade?

Suddenly a new figure appeared beside Slade, making the HIVE trio's eyes widen a bit, they already assumed the obvious, this was their new boss…however the shadows didn't let them see his face, only his silhouette, and he seemed to be using baggy clothes.

Slade broke them out of their stupor by speaking again "The person beside me will give you your orders when needed…that's if you manage to complete your final test"

Jinx was the one to ask "What is our test?"

Slade simply waved at them dismissively "A simple task, really: all you have to do is destroy the Teen Titans"

Jinx, Gizmo, and Mammoth's eyes widened in shock, it took them a little time to get over it, once hardening their eyes they nodded and in unison said "It will be done" with that their holograms disappeared.

Slade then turned to the figure and spoke up "Naruto, you know what to do"

The figure walked out of the shadows and bowed to Slade before standing up at his full five feet and eight inches. He was wearing an orange hoodie with a red spiral symbol in his back, the hood was black trimmed and had a black line crossing it vertically from the tip to the neck, separating it in two symmetrical halves, said hood was so big that it hid the figure's face from everyone (like in Assassin's Creed), keeping it well hidden in the shadows. It also wore black baggy pants, the end of the pants inside black toe-steeled combat boots. On his arms the figure had black gloves that reached his elbows, the sleeves of his orange hoodie inside them; said gloves also had metal plates serving as armor on the back of the arm and the hand with a guard for the knuckles.

The figure, Naruto, spoke in a mirthful tone "What is it you want me to do?" he asked with a grin visible in his hood's shadows.

Slade turned to him and said "I want you to watch those three and only help them when they look like they are about to be beaten, is that understood?"

Naruto bowed again "Yes, master" but he soon raised a hand with a finger up "But remember, while you may be the one to teach me I'll be the one to have fun doing what I want, that was part of our deal, get it memorized (You don't get this reference, you need to play real videogames)" with that Naruto disappeared as his smirk grew from excitement.

Slade did something he'd never do in front of many people…he chuckled "This will be interesting, I knew finding him meant something, something to change this very own world and turn it upside down…" then he did something no one ever thought he'd do, he sighed and groaned "Though that mouth of his is the only downside" he said to himself, well, looking at the bright side it was better than having an emotionless puppet, and if the boy bragged about who trained him and made a name for Slade by being his apprentice the villain was happy.

XXXXXX

Robin and the Titans were having, or trying to have, a relaxing day, all of them trying to decide what to eat and fighting about it. He had black, short spiky hair, wore domino mask, had his black cape with yellow inside hung on his chair as he leaned, his full body green suit with the red vest were already out of the laundry, he had black toe-steeled boots, a yellow belt with way too many gadgets inside. He was also the second shortest of the team, but made up for it with martial arts and his gadgets.

He looked at Starfire, an orange skinned girl with completely green eyes and waist length red hair. She wore a sleeveless purple top with a green gem on its solar plexus, said top holding still developing medium C-cups, the neck and shoulder surrounded by a metallic armor, she had a matching purple mini-skirt with a grey belt which had another green gem, she had fingerless steel gauntlets for female fighters, also with gems, this time in the back of her hands, and to finish it off she had thigh high purple boots.

Next to him was his best friend Cyborg, and as his name implied, the guy was half-man and half-machine…well, he was actually 70 percent machine. The left side of his face and skull, the rest of his body, his forearms and his left eye were all cybernetic, his arms and right side of his face showed dark skin and that he was naturally bald. His body was mostly a white, grey and blue armor and his left eye was red.

The cybernetic teen was fighting with a boy even smaller than Robin who had green skin, pointy ears and short green spiky hair The kid wore a black uniform with purple covering his front torso, back and acting as if it were shorts, he had purple combat shoes, grey gloves and a grey belt.

Last but not least, and trying to remain calm despite the fight between the tallest and smallest teens, was Raven, a pale grey skinned girl. She was shorter than Starfire, had short purple hair and a red gem in her forehead, showing her medium B-cups to low C-cups she had a black one piece swimming suit like…well, suit that covered her arms, wore a dark blue cloak over her whole body and matching shoes, on the back of her hands she had red gems as well as one keeping her cloak closed and even wore a belt with some of those big jewels adorning it.

Surprisingly no villains had attacked today and nothing weird had happened yet. The Titans were at peace finally, after fighting a pink blob that tried to eat them thanks to a giant made of rock as well as other crazy events led them to need a rest, but when their only thought right then was 'today is going to be a great day and nothing could possibly go wrong' is when karma decided to be a bitch.

"AAAAAAHHHH!" the sound of screams was heard very clearly as a bus suddenly coming down from uptown was starting to pick up speed at an alarming rate, but that's not what scared the team of teenager superheroes, what did scare them was that the bus was heading towards a baby carriage that was for some reason inconveniently in the middle of the street.

But as they saw in horror what happened not one of them seemed to note the person on the rooftops watching the plot unfold with a wide grin beneath his hood. Naruto was here to watch the show and if necessary help Jinx, Mammoth, and Gizmo if they were losing just like his master said, but that didn't mean he wasn't itching for a fight. He saw the villains' plan and it was quite ingenious if one didn't see Jinx shoot bad luck at the bus.

He stood over the radio's antenna, hunched like an eagle and with his smirk widening as he watched and observed how every single event unfolds. Hiding his presence was easy with the chaos, but if he were to make an attack he'd reveal his position and identity to them, not that it mattered to him, but he wanted to make sure it was fun when it happened.

He saw Cyborg runn in front of the bus and using all of his strength to try and stop the out of control vehicle while Starfire and a transformed Beastboy grabbed the back of the bus slowing it down slightly. Robin saw that they wouldn't be able to stop the bus before it managed to hit the baby carriage. So upon seeing the baby's life was at such risk he ran and quickly moved the carriage out of the bus' path.

Raven meanwhile forced herself to remain calm, she was not having a good day: first, Beastboy wouldn't shut up, then when she thought she'd have something to eat and calm her mind she noticed that a bus was heading for a baby. She saw that even with her friends help the bus wasn't going to stop, she remained as calm and cool as ever and concentrated her mind on the stick shift, then made her magic: "**AZARATH METRION ZINTHOS**!"

The black matter of her dark magic instantly wrapped around the stick shift and moved it from drive to park, forcing the bus stop instantly. Starfire and Beastboy saw that the bus stopped and happily glided to Cyborg with a smile. Beastboy changed back into his 'human' form and smiled to the dark magician, giving a thumbs up to Raven. Soon the worried alien girl went to check on her leader and the baby.

Naruto was still watching and saw with amusement that Jinx, Mammoth and Gizmo were about to attack. He widened his smile and only said one thing "Now, it's time for the show to…begin" he spoke to himself in a playful voice that while happy and sing-song expected results as well as fun.

As the HIVE trio approached to strike the unaware Robin and Starfire were checking the baby. But as soon as robin lifted the blanket it didn't show a baby's face, it showed a smiling cat's face, the one you see in one of those cat shaped, creepy clocks. Before questioning why they saved what seemed to be a little girl's toy, said toy's eyes lit up before it asked "Are you guy always this stupid?" its eyes then shot a laser right at Robin and Starfire, hitting both the bird themed hero and the orange girl, throwing them both into a pile of trash, this made the hooded spectator laugh as hard as he could and thank being away from hearing range.

Then the fight started as Jinx hit Raven with a bad luck blast and Mammoth smashed the cybernetic teen with the bus. Naruto watched all of it from roof tops, but he was just mildly impressed with what he saw. The fighting skills could be a bit better but the team work would need some work. He understood why Slade wanted these three to work for the blond, they were good, but needed someone who knew what Naruto knew, something even Slade couldn't teach by himself without having experienced it…or wanting to die.

However the hooded young man was also impressed with the Teen Titans, their teamwork and skills were almost at their peak, the Titans were able to combine their strengths and their weaknesses, working to both support their fellow Titans and to deliver more damage in a way that balanced defense and offense. But that wasn't enough for a victory, the only reason the Teen Titans lost was because of two reasons: because their leader had instantly been taken care of first, and without a leader they were pretty much screwed without the person they were used to lead them to think of a good strategy. The second, and the only reason the villains had the upper hand was because of their surprise attack.

He thought of what he saw, the look of pain in the Titans' eyes, their sadness over losing their leader, their pure defeat plastered all over their faces…he soon couldn't hold it any more, he laughed, he had to laugh. He laughed loudly as he remembered, he laughed when those memories arose, when those looks of pain and suffering soon turned into frowns, glares and soon…soon turned into the eyes of murderers, traitors, backstabbing scum…and all he could do as he remembered was laugh.

Jinx was almost jumping from joy, she, Mammoth and Gizmo were just celebrating how easily they had just beaten the Titans in their own first real crime and how they planned about going to pay a visit to the T-tower, to take it over when they had their guard in their lowest and remodel it into a HIVE academy as a present for their teachers after finally graduating…

But all thought about happy evil deeds were gone the instant the trio of still unofficial villains heard an insane laughter, a deep, dark laughter that sounded a lot like the one of the very same Joker when he was still alive, but the deeper tone clearly made it evident it wasn't the clownish villain…it was someone just as insane…or as mentally scarred. It scared all of them, it sounded like a person who enjoyed seeing others suffer in ways that made sure no happiness existed save his own…however, under that enjoyment was a pit of unending hatred, they could tell from the tone, the cruel melody of joy held something in it that made it more enjoyable for its user because it calmed the anger inside that person.

Just then the three felt something they would never want to admit, not even at the cost of their own lives…they felt _fear_, pure, cold as ice, untold fear at whoever was laughing. So imagine their surprise when they turned around when hearing someone land right behind them and saw it was a guy that looked to be their age using normal clothes, if you didn't count the gloves that were obviously for combat. But what shocked them the most was:

*Clap!*

There was only one clap, the figure did nothing but give that one clap, standing there with his hands clasped…before giving another that started a series of well-humored, happy claps…making it creepy as he started to laugh once again "Well done" the figure said in a mirthful tone, finally done giving his round of applause for the villains "I certainly enjoyed the show…but you guys need a lot of work" he said in a dark voice, not too deep, a manly tone that commanded respect and/or fear with the thunder of a born ruler who expected everyone to bow to him when he gave the order.

And that infuriated Jinx, just out of nowhere a guy appears and laughs at them like that, it was as if he were mocking her, as if he saw them as a joke…which he half did. The blond saw the potential, but even under his master's training they were nothing compared to him, he could easily wipe them out…and the petite pinkette knew it. However she wouldn't let him go so easily after laughing right in their faces, so she was about to run up to him and yell at him about what was so funny…

But just after the first and only step she took towards him the guy was instantly covered in a yellow flash of light…and then he was gone just as fast as they saw the light, as if he never existed. That vanishing act had scared the hell out of the trio of villain hopefuls, after getting a harder grip on themselves they looked around for every way the guy in the hood could have used to escape, but he was just gone.

Jinx grew angry again and decided she was going to look around the city to find the guy who mocked them by laughing at them. But Gizmo reminded her that they had, in his own words, 'take the snot for brains' base'.

Jinx sighed, knowing the small villain was right, and after seeing such a feat like that she knew she probably wouldn't be able to find that laughing guy, who was surely long gone by now, laughing more at them. The last thought made her anger remain, but since she would soon take the T-tower with her _comrades_ she decided to vent off her anger with the superheroes.

So, turning to her so called comrades the bad luck girl looked at them in the eye and the a grin likes of the Cheshire Cat's "Ok, let's take out the Titans first, then we're to find out what they've got of value and keep what we want, then check their data base and what they have of that laughing guy, and when we find him…" she trailed off as an evil smirk graced her cute but not so innocent features.

Both of the guys immediately nodded with the cold sweat of fear on their foreheads and a chill in their spines, they knew that grin, when she did that grin you instantly did what she said or your ass would be getting hit with a big amount of bad luck, literally and figuratively speaking.

With that they went to the T-tower to destroy the teenager heroes while having a good laugh.

XXXXXX

Meanwhile, Slade was watching the villains to be and thought only one thing: they had potential, the potential to be his apprentice's allies and students…maybe the pinkette even more. He did the nearest thing to a smile he could, lifting the right corner of his mouth about a tenth of an inch into a pleased smirk. Naruto had told him of his previous life and what he could do…and to think the blond could do that made Slade feel both proud and a bit, very little bit, jealous. He didn't feel any envy right now to tell the truth, training his mind to make himself the closest thing to a god allowed him to avoid stupid desires, something he thought to Naruto and that his apprentice learned in such a short time that made the villain see he found the best disciple he could ever hope for.

With his diminutive smirk he turned to the screens where Naruto's face was and spoke to his heir via the communicator the hooded young man had in his left glove "Naruto, what do you think of your three possible allies?"

Naruto let a smirk spread itself from the shadows of his hood, he had thought for a nanosecond after he saw what the HIVE trio could do, and he answered truthfully "I think you gave me a very good present even if it isn't my birthday"

Slade nodded at his hooded apprentice, knowing the boy already had plans. So he turned to Naruto and gave the order the blond wanted the most "Do what you want from here" he faced Naruto and spoke with pride "You've reached even beyond my expectations, surpassed me, and while I will still work I'll be happy to see what you can do to spin the Wheel of Fate to your will. So show me…no, show the world what true power is by living free and doing what you desire, Naruto"

Naruto was in silence, his grin was now gone as he stared into his communicator to his master, the only person to actually teach him, to give him real acknowledge of not only how to fight but even the world and how the human mind really worked. This time when the blond smiled he showed a true, honest, sincere, happy and warm smile from his hood's shadows.

Naruto nodded his head to Slade "I wouldn't have it any other way, master"

Slade just acknowledged this with a nod before going back to business: "I want you to watch your future allies, it's always good to keep people loyal to you, so if it looks like they are about to lose no matter the situation it'd be best for you to retrieve them, is that understood?" Naruto nodded and was about to go when Slade suddenly spoke again "Also, Naruto, if it looks like you're about to fight the Titans then don't do so, if you were to battle them head on, all of them at the same time with their potential still deep asleep you could be overwhelmed"

Naruto looked at Slade with his grin replaced by a frown, and then gave another nod "Understood…but you know how much I love challenges, master"

Slade nodded "That's one of the reasons why you surpassed me" with that Naruto stood up from the rock he was standing on hunched while watching the Titans go to retrieve their tower, all five of them.

XXXXXX

Atop the Titans' tower, in the mildly build new part of what the hooded figure's new allies hoped to be a new HIVE school's roof top was Naruto, who actually hung upside down from one of the ceilings, watching in the shadows how it all happened. He had expected his new allies' defeat, mainly because after having their leader back along with their will to fight and a thirst for revenge as well as the element of surprise now with them the Titans had an easy victory.

He saw that the villains were doing well at least, that was until the heroes tricked each of the villains into using their strengths against them, the five heroes were a lot more used to teamwork and not only knew the place but had several strategies in case for everything. But Naruto would be damned in hell before he allowed those three potential partners in crime to go to jail, they seemed to be fun when causing ruckus, and he _loved_ ruckus.

However, when he was as near as the shadows let him near his future allies to retreat with them he heard that Gizmo slipped up and said Slade's name. The hooded figure shook his head, if his allies were going to slip up like that he'd need to teach them a lot, however he knew how his master planned and that he not only had thought this would happen but even had a plan for it. So he decided to wait for a chance to strike when he saw Robin grab Gizmo by the small boy's collar.

Robin looked at the small villain right in the eye as he spoke menacingly "Who is Slade?"

Gizmo simply smirked at the Titans' leader "Wouldn't you like to know, puke for brain?"

Robin was about to force Gizmo to tell him who Slade was, that was until a new voice appeared "That's enough bullying" and before anyone could say or do a thing…

*Crash!*

Everyone, heroes and villains, turned and saw a hooded young man stand before them, the sound of the crash being his fist smashing a hole the size of said fist in a wall nearby. The HIVE three immediately recognized the figure once it stepped out of the shadows that hid him.

"Not a move, pal!" Cyborg said aiming his sonic cannon at Naruto…and saw a yellow flash.

"Now, now, that's rude" said a voice with a mirthful tone, when everyone turned they saw the hooded figure standing behind Raven.

All Titans didn't think twice and jumped back, ready to fight this new individual if he so much as sneezed. Robin armed with his birdarangs, Starfire readying her own blasts with green energy glowing in her hands, Beastboy now a big green kangaroo doing jabs to the air, Cyborg once again aiming the cannon to the figure, now to his head…and soon they stopped any intent to attack him when they saw him behind Raven, holding the girl's arms behind her back with one hand and the other keeping her mouth shut tightly.

Naruto knew why he had to target this girl first, she was dangerous, definitely had the most power out of the five, the other four combined and his master would be nothing if she unleashed it all…the same as him. He noted her scent, her aura and her very being, sensing it all he smirked beneath his hood, letting everyone who looked at the black and orange clad villain feel a chill running down their spines when his smile almost shone beneath the shadows of his hood.

He chuckled darkly "Well, we two have something in common" he said, breathing in her ear and making her shiver, which made Jinx unconsciously glare at the other pale skinned girl.

But Raven soon managed to question him, though it came in angry monotone mumbles it sounded a bit like "What do you mean?" which made the hooded villain grin…and release her.

Everyone watched in amazement how Naruto walked backwards with his arms extended to his sides and his smile growing…before he pulled off his hood. When Jinx saw him her cheeks took a deep pink the likes of her hair, Raven felt something hot in her cheeks, thought keeping her emotions in control made her think of it as being hot.

Naruto was a natural blond, he had spiky hair in a wild mane of sun kissed hair, he also had a pair of shining icy blue orbs as eyes, slightly tanned skin and what seemed like whisker birthmarks on his cheeks, three on each side of his angular and manly face which had not even an ounce of baby fat. But what called everyone's attention was what was atop his head…two snow white fox ears, real fox ears! Even if his appearance was unusual nobody was too shocked, after all they were not what one could call normal and they had already seen a lot of weird stuff even in their short lives.

The blond then waved at them, his maniacal grin still plastered in his face "It's good to meet you face to face, Titans…anyways, not wanting to be rude you all can call me Naruto"

"What's your purpose here?" Robin angrily asked, and Naruto smirked.

"My purpose?" Naruto asked in amusement, and then took a serious look in his face "I have NO purpose" was all he said, shocking everyone as he continued "I have no dream, no hope for the future…all I wants is to have some fun doing what I can do best, screw around and mess up, pissing people as stiff as you off"

Naruto then used that yellow flash to appear in front of Jinx "Now, you three, you're going to come back with me" at those words the three winced, hoping their 'discipline' would be painless. Naruto saw this and reassured them "No need to worry, while you may have failed you have made the first step…but I'm seriously thinking you need a bit more time in the school"

"WHAT!" Jinx shouted, then poked him in the chest "Listen, I am NOT going back here after graduating do you know how hard we had to bust our asses to be here?" she asked sternly.

The blond shook his head "Don't know, don't care, you three failed" he said, the villains having no comments against that hung their heads low as he continued "Now, you three will have to learn how to work better the next time you face the Titans"

"What makes you so sure we'll let you leave?" Raven asked, her voice carrying what seemed anger in her monotone.

The kitsune smiled uncaringly at her "Why, are you interested in knowing what we have in common?"

"Not even in your dreams" the girl said firmly, mentally thanking her hood hid the red in her cheeks.

The blond then just shrugged and stood straight with a smirk in his face "Well, I do know I'll have to fight you one day or another, Titans, and I won't care how long it has to be, I just want to have a challenge when we do battle" then he gave them the peace sign "Bye-bye!" and when he said those last words he and the HIVE three were gone with his yellow flash, shocking the heroes once again.

**XXXXXX**

**And done…NAH, just kidding!**

**Omake****: Real reason: being evil is fun!**

"What's your purpose here?" Robin angrily asked, and Naruto smirked.

The blond kitsune then lifted his hand, and a poof of smoke shocked everyone as in his hand was…a black top hat? Before anyone could further question his sanity he put the hat on Jinx's head while wrapping an arm around her, gaining a blush from the lucky girl, before turning to Robin, his smile growing even more as he said "I'll tell you…IN SONG!"

Music started to blare from somewhere, and in a split second Robin got kicked by Naruto, the blond taking the staff from the shorter boy's hands and swirling it like a cane as he marched around.

**When the Devil is too busy**

**And Death's a bit too much**

**They call on me by name you see,**

**For my special touch.**

**To the Gentlemen I'm Miss Fortune**

**To the Ladies I'm Sir Prize**

**But call me by any name**

**Any way it's all the same**

In the first line Naruto teleported near his comrades and tapped Jinx's new hat with the staff. The next he appeared next to Raven and hung his arm around her shoulders, making her thank her hood kept her blush hidden in the shadows. He marched around with the next two lines of the song, the Titans not knowing whether to shoot or see where this was going. In the next he grabbed the boys in a hug and lifted his hands up, letting several gold coins fall that everyone but Robin attempted to grab, the bird themed hero tried to punch the blond, but he disappeared and appeared near the three girls in the sixth line, handing them jewelry they kindly accepted…but after the two last lines the blond snapped his fingers and all the gold coins and jewelry was gone with a cloud of smoke, and he continued singing along the lyrics:

**I'm the fly in your soup**

**I'm the pebble in your shoe**

**I'm the demon in your bed**

**I'm a bump on every head**

**I'm the peel on which you slip**

**I'm a pin in every hip**

**I'm the thorn in your side**

**Makes you wriggle and writhe.**

**And it's so easy when you're evil**

**This is the life, you see**

**The Devil tips his hat to me**

**I do it all because I'm evil**

**And I do it all for free**

**Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need**

The blond swirled the staff he stole from Robin and started to use his yellow flash trick to disappear and reappear whenever an attack was to reach him be it exploding discs, energy bolts, sonic blasts, a bear's claws or black magic as the Titans destroyed wherever the evasive blond stood before disappearing. Once reaching the eight line he spun around, grabbing Robin in a headlock and flicking his forehead. He let the smaller boy go and avoided his punch, in the eleventh line he was near Jinx and bowed before her, the bad luck girl tipping her hat like in the song's line. He then pounded one of the staff's end in the ground and pointed to the heroes as he sang the next three lines.

**While there's children to make sad**

**While there's candy to be had**

**while there's pockets left to pick**

**While there's grannies left to trip down the stairs**

**I'll be there, I'll be waiting 'round the corner**

**It's a game. I'm glad I'm in it**

**'Cause there's one born every minute**

**And it's so easy when you're evil**

**This is the life, you see**

**The Devil tips his hat to me**

**I do it all because I'm evil**

**And I do it all for free**

**Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need**

Once done after singing to the Titans Starfire got mad with the first line, thinking he was really evil because of making kids sad, so for half the lines the blond avoided her punches, kicks and green blasts. The next three lines had the blond grab one of the punches and bending the staff around the orange girl's arms to keep her from moving as he saw Jinx bow to him with the hat lifted up in a salute. The last three lines consisted in the blond having to use more his yellow flashes to avoid even more blasts of the alien girl's energy blasts.

**I pledge my allegiance, to all things dark**

**And I promise on my damned soul**

**To do as I am told, Beelzebub**

**Has never seen a soldier quite like me**

**Not only does his job, but does it happily.**

This time a green ram tried to hit him directly in the ribs, the blond grabbed it by its horns, using inhuman strength to not only stop it but launch it at the still attacking Starfire, sending them both skidding to a stop. He turned and saw Raven and Cyborg attacking him, the girl throwing a big chunk of debris from the destruction while the large teen shot a condensed blast.

**I'm the fear that keeps you awake**

**I'm the shadows on the wall**

**I'm the monsters they become**

**I'm the nightmare in your skull**

**I'm a dagger in your back**

**An extra turn upon the rack**

**I'm the quivering of your heart**

**A stabbing pain, a sudden start.**

To the gothic girl and big teen's shock the blond just jumped above the attacks, using the flying debris as a step, landing behind them in the shadows, slowly walking towards them as they readied another attack…too late. He soon kicked Cyborg in the head in the fourth line and then used his elbow to strike him down in the fifth. In the sixth he was behind Raven again, his right arm hugging her waist and keeping her close to him, the other had its hand clamping her mouth to keep her from speaking, making her feel his warmth in her body as well as his hot breath in her ear, forcing her to fight a shiver. In the last line he used his yellow flash trick to escape Robin's spare staff to the head.

**And it's so easy when you're evil**

**This is the life, you see**

**The Devil tips his hat to me**

**I do it all because I'm evil**

**And I do it all for free**

**Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need**

**And I do it all for free**

**Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need**

**And I do it all for free**

**Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need**

The next lines consisted of Naruto standing atop the mild built new area of the tower, singing at them with a wide smile. But once finished, suddenly, Naruto dropped to his knees, his head hung low as his voice and the song took a sad tone:

**It gets so lonely being evil**

**What I'd do to see a smile**

**Even for a little while**

**And no one loves you when you're evil**

As the last two lines left Naruto's lips everyone felt a bit sorry…until the blond bolted up, jumped to the villains, wrapped them in a hug and adopted a huge maniacal grin.

**I'm lying through my teeth!**

**Your tears are all the company I need**

And with those last lines the blond vanished in a yellow flash. The Titans were too astonished, a crazy, emphasis in crazy, villain had not only told them he was bad to the bone, he even made a musical out of it.

Beastboy resumed what happened in three words: "That was awesome!" shouted the green changeling as he pumped his fists in the air, earning a glare from his leader…but surprisingly not from Raven, who looked in the distance where the crazy blond villain just vanished from.

(With Slade)

The villain looked at his heir's spectacle with a raised brow behind his mask, then shrugged and turned to his throne, muttering something that sounded a lot like "Catchy song"

**XXXXXX**

**And now it's done! Believe it or not, that song was my first idea instead of the cliché stuff, but since I want this as a somewhat serious job with the laughs any anime would have I had to put the cliché part…so I decided to leave you with the musical as an extra! So far the harem consists in Jinx, Raven, Blackfire and Terra, that's all!**

**Swordslinger out!**


	2. Chapter 2

I OWN NOTHING, if I did then you'd see more happy endings in a lot of stories

**XXXXXX**

This is my idea of fun

Slade stood in front of the principal of the HIVE academy, after she had seen that her students were hired just to send a message she heard the sound of light steps walking towards them. The steps belonged to a hooded boy with a smirk that terrified the principal (Sorry, won't bother describing secondary characters with no important part in the plot). The figure bowed to Slade, who gave a nod as any response.

The figure turned to the old principal and spoke with his mirthful tone "You said you wanted to discipline my new allies, right?" he asked and she fearfully nodded, his tone spoke of insanity and anger the likes you didn't want behind you. The figure chuckled darkly and motioned to three shadows behind him to walk into the lights, these being his new allies.

The principal looked at them sternly "You three know the consequences of failing" she said as the trio hung their heads low, not wanting to face their punishment.

But Naruto was having none of that "We never said they failed" he said calmly, shocking once again the principal "We needed them to deliver a small message, as well as test my future henchmen"

Gizmo heard the term used to describe him and didn't like it "Who's supposed to be your henchman, fur for brains?"

The blond turned to him and pulled off his hood, letting the small villain see a frown in his face, scaring the midget as he spoke loud and clear "If you three don't want to be my henchmen then all you need to do is beat me…" was all he said, trailing off as he let the hidden threat in his words fly, but the HIVE three smirked. Seeing them ready to fight the principal was about to stop them, but was instantly stopped by Slade.

"Let my apprentice show you what your students could learn from him" the masked villain said.

Mammoth gloated as he cracked his knuckles "Is that so? You must have a death wish"

Naruto returned their smirks and made the 'Bring it on' hand motion "Just don't try to make me laugh"

Those words made the HIVE three growl and charge immediately. Mammoth was first with his fists ready to crush the blond foxy villain, Jinx using him as a step to throw her bad luck blasts from above and Gizmo giving air support by flying and shooting explosives from his backpack.

Then Naruto yawned. Him yawning meant that something somewhere is going to die soon. The shit just hit the fan right there and then and every villain in the room could feel it in their bones. Naruto charged at them, his fists at his sides. The first thing for him to do was jump above the blast of bad luck, then use the incoming explosive attacks to jump by using them as steps and punch Gizmo right in the gut, the small boy's body fell down and hard, creating a small crater where he laid unconscious and with the wind knocked out of him.

Mammoth kept his charge and was about to punch the blond, who blocked it by using his arm to stop Mammoth's. The next thing the large teen knew was that a fist flew at his chin very fast, then another, this time faster, and another and another in a series of jabs, the next one faster than the previous, as well as stronger. To finish it off the blond kneed the muscular teen in the gut, sending him flying and crashing hard on his back. Mammoth, with the last of his strength, looked up at Naruto, who had the leg he used to knee him lifted up in a perfect ninety degrees angle, before slamming his foot in an axe kick against his guts, knocking both air and consciousness out of the bigger teen.

Jinx, who had landed away, saw how her teammates were knocked down so easily and were in pain even in unconsciousness. She tried to step back, but saw that a yellow flash appeared before her, right when she was pinned to the wall with two strong hands grabbing her wrists, keeping her from using her powers without either hurting her or a chance to at least hit the blond directly. She saw him smirk right in her face, and sadly for her she didn't know he smirked because of her growing blush.

He let her go and stood in front of the principal, putting his hood back up as he smirked smugly "Well, your students are good for a warm-up, still, they need to learn how to work better with associates" he then used his yellow flash and appeared besides Jinx, smiling at her and increasing the pink in her cheeks "What I mean is that even if villains tend to sabotage each other up they still need to know there is trust, not matter how small it might be, because if they don't work together like…let's say, the Teen Titans…" he trailed off, letting the name of the heroes' team reach the girl's and her two now conscious teammates' ears to anger the three "Power means a lot, but with no discipline, with no mind, with no true control it means nothing"

Slade nodded, and turned to the principal and her students "And, believe it or not, from where my disciple is from he was considered the dead-last, dead weight, cannon fodder even, a simple sacrificial peon…but they were wrong" he said with pride obvious in his voice "Soon the ones who thought they controlled this boy discovered he was NEVER in their control, and paid the ultimate price for it…"

Naruto explained what Slade meant by slashing a finger across his throat with a sickening sweet smile in his face, making the others feel true fear. Then the blond spoke "So, after making sure everyone paid for all the shit they did to me I found Slade, funny thing was that while my master let me use my full potential and unleash ALL of my power, the bastards that kept me in a leash used everything in their power to mess me up, reduce my growth, seal my power, control me, brainwash me into a weapon, make me weak and just as powerful as they thought I needed to be…but that was their mistake"

Slade nodded "The saying 'what doesn't kills you makes you stronger' never rang truer than with the very individual who defeated you three" he said pointing to the shocked villains, the pinkette looking sadly to the blond "Now, while you may have been the best of the best from HIVE academy you let that arrogance go into your heads"

Naruto smirked "Admit it, you guys thought you could win easily" he said, making the trio growl "But that's what made me kill all of the ones who wronged me" he said with a smile "Those know-it-all, arrogant WEAKLINGS thought they had power while all they had was ego and their bullshit…so making sure they were dead and in Hell was all TOO easy…" the still unofficial villains and their principal felt a chill down their spines "Now, just return to the academy and try to get even stronger, in the meantime I'll keep your number when I need some help…think of it as extra lessons in the real deal"

"Very well then" the principal said "I'll put missions as extracurricular lessons with you, mister…"

"The name's Naruto, as in my real name"

"Naruto…?" asked a confused Mammoth "You mean like those fishcakes in ramen?"

"No, you idiot!" Gizmo said "See the symbol in his back? It's a spiral, like in a maelstrom, and Naruto actually means 'Maelstrom' in japanese" corrected the midget.

"Japanese, huh?" Jinx mused to herself, eying the blond and mentally smiling at some ideas of a knight of another land, but shook them off and tried to remain tough "So that would explain why you act and dress like a ninja"

The hooded blond nodded "Though I think you shouldn't be musing about me, you have classes" he said, making the three hang their heads low at the idea of returning to the school, mentally adding '_Besides, the Titans will do that, and it will not be easy when you haven't existed_'

XXXXXX

True to his words, Robin found himself, along with his team, searching any existing database for any lead of who Naruto was, all they got was pictures of fishcakes and maelstroms, all in japanese. So after an unending path of dead ends the heroes started to make hypothesis about who or what was the blond.

So far the five stood in front of a chalkboard the size of their couch, the board divided in five sections with each of the members' theories of who or what could Naruto be. The order from left to right was Raven, Beastboy, Robin, Starfire and Cyborg, each section with a handmade drawing of the hooded villain and the theories of the Titan who made said drawing.

Raven – the gothic heroine had drawn the blonde's head in a dead serious expression like hers, her theories was a list which from up to down said: mystic being, spiritual presence, and with an interrogation mark at the end was the word hybrid. She also considered it might be a curse, but how he enjoyed pain was so natural and her empath powers let her see it was all him and no one controlling him, so that was the white spot below her list.

Beastboy – his was a cartoonish drawing very badly made of the blond laughing like a maniac with flames behind him, his list was: were-fox, mutant fox, and alien fox.

Robin – the Boy Wonder had made realistic drawings of the blond standing, two of them, one seeing them face to face and the other from his right like if it were his picture when captured by the police, so far the hero's list had: internal energy user, meta-human and altered DNA

Starfire – the alien girl had made a cute chibi drawing of the blond smiling his insane smirk, her theories so far only had: magical fox

Cyborg – the large teen actually made blue prints with several circles around the blonde's arms and boots with numbers pointing at some spots, the names of the numbers were listed with interrogation marks at the end: teleportation device, high velocity devices, shields, cybernetic parts and weapons.

When looking at the board and different theories the heroes sighed in defeat at their small amount of leads, the green changeling voicing his thoughts: "Man, this guy pops out of nowhere, then mocks us and then disappears as if he never existed, it's like in one of those bad movies where the bad guy just decides to show up and mess up with the heroes"

Robin began pacing while thinking out loud "So far our best clue is his name, which shows us he really does not 'exist' but that could mean it was his alias"

Raven shook her head "No, the moment he appeared I made sure to see his intentions…and sadly all he said was true, it does seems his real name is indeed Naruto"

Cyborg went again to the computer while muttering "So for all we know he is from Japan due to that name, and that he is named after either fishcakes or maelstroms, but judging by how well this guy's trained as well as how messed up he's in the head I think he's named after the natural disaster"

Starfire took a thoughtful pose while levitating "And that's the first time we meet someone like him, normally villains have a reason to attack us, but he just said he didn't have the 'Purpose' some had"

Robin frowned and crossed his arms over his chest "He has no purpose and just wants to mess up for fun…I'm kind of afraid of saying this to be honest" he said and looked at his team with a dead serious face, making them feel their hearts lose a beat as what scared Robin was never good, and it wasn't: "This guy is like him…he's like the Joker"

A deep silence stood for a good time, none of them wanting to hear that name, the Joker was actually more of a monster than a man, and the idea of fighting someone that could be like him in the slightest of ways was…terrifying. Seeing that smirk in the blonde and remembering some images of the clownish villain was not good for them, the fact he had no purpose and said he only wanted fun meant he'd cause problems just to laugh or even when bored…

Beastboy summed it up in two words: "This sucks"

"_BREAKING NEWS!_"

The heroes turned to the TV when it immediately went on, just as their alarm blared all around the base. A typical average Joe was in front of the bank, sweating bullets, the reason was because of a smirking hooded figure beside him with what seemed like a kunai pressed on his neck.

"_Hi there, first I'd like to say hello to my new allies the HIVE three, you did a good job with the Titans yesterday!_" Naruto cackled as he waved at the camera, before kicking the reporter away as he stood in front of it, the mike in his hands as he laughed sadistically just like the time he first met the trio of villains he spoke of.

"Well, it seems we'll get some answers from him" Cyborg said cracking his cybernetic knuckles.

"Wait" Robin commanded "Let's see first what he's planning, if he dares so much as sneeze we'll go there and kick his ass"

As the Titans nodded the blond was done laughing and turned to the camera once again, cackling "_Now ladies and gentlemen, it is I, your friendly neighborhood ass-kicker, one of the best mercenaries in the business and Future King of Jump City…but hell, just call me by my real name, Naruto Uzumaki!_"

Robin immediately turned to the large teen "Cyborg!"

"On it!" Cyborg said as he looked around the net using the blonde's real name, only to frown before shouting "This is impossible! I still have nothing on this guy!"

"_Oh, I might as well tell you that I actually don't really 'exist', as you will never find me even with my real name"_ the blond cackled, making the Titans glare at him, knowing he was mocking them_ "Well, I'm just here wanting to tell you I'm available for anything you might need from black-ops, missions, kidnappings, robbery of all kind and even birthday parties!_"

"Hahahahaha!" everyone turned to see Beastboy rolling in the couch grabbing his sides, used a second to glare at him then turned to the crazy blond.

Naruto pointed to the camera and chuckled loudly "_Now I bet the Titans are on their way, and that's good for them, because they need to find out what in the hell I am doing here and put me in jail, locking me up in a cell while doing their good job as little boy scouts…hehehehe! *Sigh* Anyways, before they come here I just would like to say this: I hope to have some fun, and that the Titans don't become a joke! Hyahahahahahaha!_" with that the tube went off as Robin pressed the button.

Starfire looked at the tube with a thoughtful expression and asked her leader "Robin, is that what you call being a jerk?"

The rest of the heroes waited for their leader to say yes…so you can imagine their shock when he said "No, this guy's taunting us not because he's overconfident but because he definitely has a plan, otherwise why would he make such a big deal in the TV announcing himself like that?"

Beastboy scratched his head "So you mean this guy had better plans than a big commercial of himself? I mean, getting that much attention is what many people would like to do to be like yours truly" he said with a smile at the last part.

Cyborg thought for a bit "No, this guy's just having fun, so far all he said was that, fun. He just wants us to entertain him, he never even mentioned hostages"

Raven nodded "And that's what should worry us, he's there in a bank, declaring war on us, and I don't think the police force going after him isn't in his schedule"

Robin started to advance outside "We're already wasting too much time here trying to figure this guy's mind out, we need to go, NOW!" and with that said the five heroes went off to fight their newest enemy.

XXXXXX

Naruto was laying on his back in the counter of the bank with his arms as pillows, the news crew still filming while shivering at his presence, but having a shot of capturing a fight between him and the Titans despite the outcome was worth a lot, so they stood there. The blond then looked boringly at them, making them shake and step back…while avoiding stepping on one of the unconscious cops that laid all around the floor, furniture and some even inside holes in the demolished walls (Seen Kung Fu Hustle? Think of that kind of ass-kicking).

"Hey, camera guy" said man almost jumped out of his sockets "How long does it take those guys to save the day?" he asked as if he were asking of the weather.

"I dunno, but they shouldn't be late" the man responded while still filming, even in fear.

The blond nodded, turned to a cop from the floor, lifted him up by his collar and shook him awake, when the cop still refused to open his eyes the blond slapped him, this time it worked "Good, now that I have your attention I'd like to ask you something very important and vital for me"

The still injured and scared cop nodded and fearfully asked "What do you want?"

The blond smirked, put the guy down and walked to big bags with the dollar symbol on them, taking out a ten dollar bill, and handed it to the cop "Go to the nearest shop or vending machine and get me an ice cold Coke"

The cop looked at him, his eyes widened in shock, before growling "And why should I do that?"

The blond smirked in his intimidating way "Because if you don't it'll be very difficult to get me a Coke without a leg, understand?" the cop nodded as he understood what the hooded villain meant, the poor guy feeling he was about to wet himself from looking at that smirk.

It wasn't very long before the cop returned with what the blond wanted, the news crew still recording everything even if they gaped in shock at how lazy and uncaring this guy was to demand a Coke like that, even by death threat. Fortunately once the boy had finished his drink the Titans arrived, ready to beat him to next until Thursday.

Naruto scowled at them from beneath his hood and shouted "About time you guys got here, what took you so long? I got thirsty and had to ask Bob here to get me something to drink"

The cop raised his hand "Actually, my name is-"

Naruto cut him off with a childish angry look "Your name is Bob from now on if you want to keep all your limbs"

"Ok, call me Bob" said the scared man.

"Good!" the blond smiled and turned to the Titans "So, as I was saying, I want fun, yadda yadda, I got thirsty while waiting, more yadda yadda, and now I want to kick your asses" he then jumped into a lazy stance while stepping on his toes like a boxer with his right fist raised up and his left arm on his back "Come on, it's time we see who's stronger between you five and me!"

Robin scowled "No need to tell us twice! Titans GO-Oof!" the instant the Boy Wonder said the battle cry Naruto had already jumped to the Titans and kicked their leader in the gut, sending him out of the bank flying through the entrance doors, the news crew didn't waste a second and were instantly on air while it happened.

Naruto heard very heavy footsteps coming and saw a green triceratops attempting to turn him into a pancake, so he did what not many would have done, he ran at the extinct animal Beastboy was, stepped on his head and jumped up…getting blasted by Cyborg's sonic cannon, the metal plates in his gloves at least protected him, but the hit still hurt. "You cheap son of a toaster!" the blond cursed as he landed on his feet, skidding a few inches to a stop, only to jump to a nearby wall and then to another when Starfire and her star bolts were too close for comfort.

Taking careful timing the villain jumped above Starfire, the girl looking behind her, expecting to see the villain land on the floor, however she did not expect to be tapped on her shoulder by a finger, turn and look at Naruto…standing on the ceiling upside down. Beastboy easily made a remark at that "Oh come on, now he's half-fox and half-bug? Is that even supposed to make sense?"

Starfire was thoughtful at that "I don't know, maybe there is a vulpine species related to bugs" sadly for her, Naruto used her temporary moment of thinking to easily backhand her, but couldn't inflict further damage to the girl when trash cans, desks and chairs covered in dark magic, sonic blasts and exploding disks from the now back into action Robin attacked him.

Jumping to a wall the blond remained there and ran away from the attacks, now backed up with Starfire's green energy orbs. Once getting out of space in the wall the blond had to admit he'd have to retreat, he didn't want to expose too much of his powers and abilities in the media, for now showing he could easily escape the teenager heroes with no grave injuries while taking all the money was more than enough for his publicity.

He landed behind the counter and grabbed the loot inside the bags, but once he lifted them over his shoulders he had to turn his head to one side when a llama Beastboy tried to blind him with a direct spit to the face. The changeling morphed into a python and attempted to catch him, but the hooded villain had other plans, he jumped to the wall behind the counter and used it to impulse himself to jump above the other four Titans, managing to escape by the skin of his teeth birdarangs, a big amount of rocks, diverse sonic blasts and bigger than normal green star bolts.

Once landing he turned to the camera, giving them the Peace sign with a smile and jumped to a building, running up its walls as if he were doing so on the ground, the Titans right behind him, Robin with his grapple gun, Beastboy as a pterodactyl and carrying Cyborg as the girls flew after the foxy criminal. When he reached the rooftops Naruto found the Titans in front of him, ready to attack…he smirked. Putting the money down the fox boy reached in his pants' pockets and took out six shurikens, three between each hand's fingers.

Beastboy snapped his fingers when he saw the weapons "Oh man, and here I thought my ninja theory would have sounded stupid!"

Raven rolled her eyes "And when has one of your ideas not been stupid?"

"I'd be more focused on my target" the blond said as he charged at them, his arms crossed in front of him and his shurikens ready.

"Oh no, you don't!" Cyborg shouted and fired at the blond, who jumped above the blast and threw his weapons at the teens, each of them jumped back, but had they noted the very thin wire in the criminal's fingers connected to the shurikens they would have been more careful. Naruto crossed his arms again, bringing the shurikens to Cyborg's cannon, as the large teen screamed in a mixture of pain and shock when his arm started to spark before blowing up into a big piece of hunk of metal Naruto started to laugh cruelly at his opponent's pain.

While Naruto enjoyed the cybernetic hero's pain with his insane laughter Raven had her hands glowing dark and chanted the words: "**AZARATH METRION ZINTHOS!**"

Soon Naruto was inside a sphere of the girl's dark magic, his head the only thing free as she pulled him closer to the others. "Oh, damn it…Note to self: never laugh like the maniac you are with your guard down" he then seemed thoughtful for half a minute, still in the dark magic's hold, before shrugging as best he could "Oh who the hell am I kidding? I'll laugh anyways, hehehehehehehehehehehehe, hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"What's so funny?" asked Raven as she approached him by pulling the blond closer, putting her face in front of his, making him smirk.

"This!" Naruto yelled…and slammed his lips with Raven's.

When that happened every Titan's eyes widened, Raven's more than her friends'. Naruto for his part enjoyed her taste, pizza, and while she didn't want to admit it the gothic girl was also enjoying the sensation of his warm lips in hers as well as the taste of ramen in his mouth. She was about to moan and soon lost her hold, her powers finally releasing the blond, who once free from the dark magic pulled back, the sound of suction clearly heard before he jumped back, smiling slyly with the money now in his hands.

"Well, that was fun" he said with a happy tone and then waved at them "Laters" and with that he was gone with his yellow flash…or he would have been gone, if not for a new voice.

"Good to see you again, little sister" just after those words were said a big amount of black versions of Starfire's star bolts blasted the unaware Titans, throwing the heroes into the air before having a not so happy landing, groaning in pain. Naruto whistled in amazement at that and turned to see the one who did it, his amazement growing as he gave a smirk.

The girl was an identical copy of Starfire, but wore black, had black hair and sharper black eyes. Her body, while having the same orange colored skin, was covered in an armor where the redhead's was revealing her alien skin, but while not showing as much skin as the other alien girl this one had a bigger cup of breasts, about one size bigger. The blond put the money once again on the floor, pulled down his hood and approached her with a smirk.

The mysterious girl turned to the blond and gave him a sly smile, eyeing him up and down '_My, and here I thought the bird boy my little sister is after was good looking_' she composed herself and waved at him "Hi there, sweetie, what can I do for someone who annoyed my little sister and her stupid friends?" she asked with a sadistic smile the blond shared, but the cloaked heroine glared at them, and for some reason found herself glaring only at the brunette, not at the blond even after he stole her first kiss.

Robin used his arms to get half way up and demand "Blackfire, what are you doing here? Last we saw you, you were sent to jail"

"Shut it, shorty, I'm talking to a lady here!" the blond angrily spat to the shorter boy, earning a giggle from the girl now identified as Blackfire, and turned back to her "Now, I'm guessing the redhead is your sister, huh?" he got a nod from the other alien "Hehe, you're quite a lot feistier than her, just what I like in a _real_ lady"

Blackfire walked to him, a sway obvious in her hips, and ran her fingers in what she noted to be a muscular frame "Wow, aren't you the silver tongued devil humans speak of? I heard you blond earthlings have more fun than normal humans" she said, Raven unconsciously gritting her teeth.

The blond shrugged "What can I say? Life's more enjoyable with a little chaos"

The brunette smirked "Good to hear, because I have chaos behind me" and before anyone could ask what she meant Starfire's sister pointing above, where what seemed like a small army of four-tentacled purple jellyfishes two times the size of a normal human floated around, their target was pretty obvious, Blackfire.

Naruto raised a brow and turned to the girl from another planet "You must be a real bad girl"

Blackfire giggled "Tell you what, since I saw how you easily evaded the Titans I'd like to see what you can do seriously, so if you destroy those guys I'll help you escape, though it'd be better for you to do so before my sister and her friends get up"

Smirking the blond laughed "Oh man, if this is what a boy must do to walk with you I really want to know what I should do to get a date!" and with that he charged at the alien robots, his fists at his sides as Blackfire watched with a sly smile, Raven glaring at her as she and the other Titans attempted to get up, sadly their chase after the blond and those blasts didn't make it easier.

Naruto saw the first one about to attack him with its tentacles, the blond skidded to a stop beside the alien jellyfish and kicked it hard in the head, breaking its actually metallic skull, showing it to be a robot. The purple jellyfish fell down to the streets, exploding mid-fall.

Another robot attempted to attack him, this time from behind, the blond took out three kunais and nailed them in its head, making the machine go crazy as electricity surrounded it before falling down and blowing up. Then in came another, this time Naruto smirked and raised his palm at the charging robot that attempted to smash him with its head…only to shock the Titans when the fox boy didn't even move an inch as his hand had stopped the robot with ease. The kitsune pulled out another kunai and stabbed the robot's head, to the point he put half his arm in, before pulling it back along with some cables and jumping back before the robot exploded.

He also jumped back because of the incoming robot that attempted to attack him, only to get three shurikens deep inside its technological skull and blowing in small pieces. Once landing Naruto jumped sky-high at the last three robots, which charged at him from all sides. The blond smirked and spun, and just before the robots could attack him the foxy thief had spread his legs and kicked two in their heads, his right fist backhanding the third robot, his impacts were actually strong enough to sink his feet and fist into the robots and leave large holes in them.

When he landed the blond turned to the girl who helped him with the Titans and smirked "Well, what do ya think, might give this hardass dude a chance to get a date?" he asked just when the three robots fell on the floor and blew up.

Blackfire and the Titans were shocked, those robots were a pain in the sack, and this guy easily destroyed them with just one hit…but the evil alien's thoughts made her smirk after her shock "Well, I might as well even cook for you, now more handsome sweetie"

With that Naruto smiled and handed her half the bags "Good, for now I'd like to talk to you about some business if you're interested in a good pay while having fun"

"Well, it seems I found my ideal man" Blackfire replied with a smile.

The blond then put his hand on her shoulders the other giving the Titans the Peace sign "TTFN, Ta-ta for now!" he said cheerfully and soon both him and his new henchwoman were gone in a yellow flash.

"God damn it!" Robin cursed as he slammed his fists on the ground. He didn't know why, or maybe he did, but the fact the kitsune thief had so easily evaded them and showed them how stronger he was made him angry. Naruto just popped out of nowhere, caused chaos and damage just to laugh and even acted as a mercenary, worst part was that he and his allies evenly matched him and the Titans, but the fox boy still outmatched them, proven by how he beat the robots.

Raven flew beside him "Getting angry over this loss will get us nowhere, we need to use what we learned to fight Naruto and whatever he and Blackfire might do"

Beastboy actually chuckled "Why? You want another kiss from your new bad boyfriend?" the other three Titans stepped back, their faces saying 'Oh no, he didn't!'

Then puppies died, storms hit all around the globe, people became sick, Mammoth actually scored higher than Gizmo in an exam and people prayed for their souls. The green Titan found a hand strangling him in a very strong grip that suffocated him, turning his green skin slowly purple and then blue.

Then, while keeping her expressionless face but applying a bit more pressure on the green changeling's neck, Raven spoke calmly like in any other day "If you so much mention what happened here in the slightest of ways I'll make sure your worst nightmares are Heaven compared to what I'll do to you" The half-suffocated, half-dead morphing hero nodded and Raven finally let go of him.

Moral of the story: never EVER piss off a woman, their wrath make Hell seem like child's play.

**XXXXXX**

**And that's that, tell me where I took some of Naruto's lines and I'll give you guys an imaginary cookie with all the tasty goodness of your own minds!**


	3. Chapter 3

I OWN NOTHING, I wish I did though, maybe I could really rock this world out its sockets and make a story so cool that any and all dark stories would cease to exist…but for now I'll keep this up

Note: I'll remove Terra from the harem, two reasons: 1) she doesn't fit with an insane anti-hero Naruto, 2) I feel for Beastboy and he needs some loving after what Slade did to him and Terra and that ending in the final episode, so yeah, he's with Terra…what? Even if I'm insane as hell I also got a soft heart. So the harem is now with Jinx, Blackfire and Raven, no more no less.

**XXXXXX**

Bring the lightning and thunder

"Titans, GO!"

As the battle cry echoed in the comic convention where fans, bystanders and some nerds were reunited to have some fun and enjoy promoting their favorite shows the heroes faced against Naruto in battle once again and his new employer, someone that thought it'd be best to have a mercenary backing him up and delaying the Titans a bit while attending more important matters, for the blond kitsune it was a good way to show he was a real professional…though he still wished his employer had been more…normal.

"What do you mean you don't have the Platinum edition? And what kind of self-respected comic convention does not have the limited and collectable editions of Scared Wicked 2?" asked Naruto's new employer to a poor random nerd, Control Freak, a pudgy orange haired guy that could be described as potato couch, a super villain with hair way too long, bags under his eyes for excessive ours in front of the tube, brown clothes with grey boots, a grey overcoat and a reality distorting control in his hands.

Robin and the kitsune were at a stalemate, both trying to pry the hero's staff out of the other's hands "So you go robbing a bank to get money, announce yourself and THIS guy is your first customer?" the hero questioned with a raised eyebrow and a grunt as he tried to overpower his opponent.

The ninja chuckled "What can I say? He pays good moolah and even recommends good movies" then he let go of the staff and jumped back when three green star bolts almost knocked him senseless.

"Could you kindly tell me my sister's location?" asked Starfire with her hands glowing green and aiming at the merc.

The blond took a moment to right himself after his landing and take a defensive stance "Sorry, but your sister is in another castle" he said, but seeing her confused look he elaborated "She didn't want to be with my new temporal boss and decided to stay in my place and chill out, or she might as well be around the globe looking for a fight"

"Well, you've already got yourself a fight!" Cyborg yelled as he punched the foxy criminal, only to have his fist blocked with Naruto's elbow, then the cybernetic teen threw another punch, this time easily ducked under by his enemy before getting a kick in the chest that sent him flying back.

Naruto then saw a green bull about to tackle him, so not wanting to get turned into a pancake the crazy criminal grabbed it by its horns, both him and the animal skidding to a stop, just when the blond heard a familiar loud voice "Yo! Orange, black and crazy, this is for that kick!" turning his head to face behind him the mercenary got a fist to the face courtesy of Cyborg.

The impact was more than enough to send him rocketing to a wall, which crumbled upon his not so graceful landing all over him "Booyah!" the large teen cheered, then turned to the dark magician of the group "Thanks for the lift, Raven, it feels good to finally hit that fox's face"

"You're welcome" she said and approached the rumble where Naruto was.

Robin nodded with a smile "Alright, you guys capture Naruto, me and Star will get the other…huh, what's the matter Beastboy?" he asked noting his green friend walked up to him, still as a green bull.

Then, to everyone's surprise, the bull spoke with an all too familiar mirthful tone and voice "It's so easy to bullshit you guys" and with a cloud of smoke the bull turned out to be Naruto, who used the proximity of his opponents to jump in the air, spread his legs and spin around, delivering a kick to each of the other four teens' chins.

Cyborg got up and was about to attack him, when something clicked "Wait, if that ain't B then…oh crap!" he ran to the rubble and began to move the debris away, knowing what was happening Raven lifted it all with her dark magic as the group reunited around a bruised Beastboy.

"Damn it, after watching all of those ninja movies I should have seen that coming" complained the injured morphing hero. The changeling then looked shocked and pointed behind his team "Look out!" he cried as he and the others faced about seven stands flying at them.

Without delay the heroes took care of the incoming attacks, Robin with his exploding disks, Starfire with her star bolts, Cyborg with more sonic blasts, Raven using the debris as projectiles with her dark magic and Beastboy backing her up as a gorilla throwing the rest of the crumbled wall. They were relieved that they were safe, but their joy was short lived when a rain of kunais and shurikens flew at them.

"Damn it, talk about overkill!" Cyborg complained as he readied another blast.

"Save it, you won't make it" Robin said "We have to charge through, Starfire, Cyborg and Raven, you three take out as many as you can and cover us, Beastboy, you and I are to find Naruto and stop him as well as that guy"

"Right behind you!" Beastboy said as he morphed into a snake, slithering behind Robin, who used his staff to knock any projectile too close for comfort that the other three heroes couldn't blast away. Then, getting on his knees, bending backwards and skidding under the last of the sharp weapons Robin finally passed the onslaught of cutting projectiles, Beastboy right behind him and thanking having chosen an animal that let him evade all those attacks.

Once the duo were safe the rest of the team defended themselves of the rest of the attacks, Cyborg using himself as a shield for Starfire and Raven using her dark magic to cover herself. Fortunately for Cyborg his idea of reinforcing his armor paid off as all the edged weapons bounced off. The three, once knowing it was safe, saw Beastboy as an elephant with Robin standing on his head, the former trying to squash the foxy thief, the latter using his birdarangs in an attempt to knock him down. The hooded blond just used his yellow flashes to avoid all attacks continuously with a smirk in his hood's shadows.

"Come on, what's the matter?" Naruto taunted then smirked "Why don't we fight this out mano-a-mano?"

"You asked for it!" Robin, getting tired of missing jumped off his friend's head and took out his bo staff, swinging it down like a sword on Naruto's head, the blond side-stepping instead of using his yellow flash. Beastboy morphed into a sasquatch and tried to punch Naruto, who fighting Robin barely dodged under the green hairy fist. Soon in joined Starfire with aerial combos of kicks and punches, then Cyborg using his advantage in height, weight and brute force to smash the blond with his fists. Naruto for his part blocked the attacks as best he could while also dodging anything Raven threw at him.

Naruto chuckled as he battled the Titans "I sure feel the love in the air all around me" the hanyo said as the battle intensified with everyone trying to beat the snot out of either a team of five super powered teens or a very insane kitsune ninja.

Raven's left eye twitched "I thought I'd never say this…but Beastboy's jokes are actually funny…when compared to his" and she would have said a bit more…had it not been for Naruto appearing in front of her with his hood pulled down and a smirk in his face.

"Oh, that hurts right here!" he said in mock-hurt cupping his heart with both hands.

"And this hurts everywhere" the girl said and threw another stand at the blond, who disappeared before it hit and reappeared in front of her, grabbed her in a bear hug…and kissed her right on the lips… again.

The world seemed to stop as the Titans' mouths gaped at what they saw and slowly backed away. Raven struggled to get out of the kiss as Naruto held her face, pushing against his chest. However her resistance decreased as slowly she grabbed onto his orange hoodie, closing her eyes as she groaned, which let his tongue enter her mouth, but she didn't care that much as she was now moaning slightly as he massaged her tongue with his own.

The kiss was broken when they needed air. A long line of saliva was connected to their tongues, which were still extended. Raven was in a daze. Her eyes were half opened, and her tongue slowly retracted into her mouth. She collapsed on the kitsune that held her kindly, feeling tired after her first deep French kiss…before her eyes widened, turned red and her body was surrounded by darkness.

"I'LL KILL YOU TWICE OVER!" the normally calm girl shouted as Naruto was then grabbed inside a mass of black magic before being continuously pounced and slammed on the ground, then the dark magician threw him at a wall, the impact knocked the wall and part of the building over Naruto…who still managed to be alive, but very badly bruised.

An arm was seen popping out of the huge debris and being used as support to take out the injured hanyo, who smirked "Totally worth it" he said and resumed to fight with the Titans.

After that big part of the building had collapsed, Control Freak was already done stealing all DVDs, collectible items, money and even the candy bars. So turning to see the injured man he still owed money fighting equally against the Titans, warping with his yellow flashes when either Robin or Starfire got close enough to almost land a hit, side-stepping and jumping over Beastboy and Cyborg so they couldn't capture/squash him and remaining as far as possible to avoid Raven using all her magic to obviously put him in a lot of unholy pain, the nerdy villain decided to help the guy out, that and he didn't want to owe anything to someone who could so easily keep the Titans at bay even after getting beaten like a rag doll and having a building falling on top of him.

"You haven't forgotten about me, have you, Titans?" he yelled and aimed his control, distorting reality as action figures, mannequins armed with all kind of weapons and with weird costumes and even the most ridiculous of objects such as cell phones and laptops attacked the teens, backing the blond up as the foxy mercenary retreated back to his temporal boss's side, leaving the five heroes to fend themselves against the legion of unrealistic opponents.

Naruto waved at them "Enjoy the convention and remember to get a souvenir for me the next time we meet, Titans" and with that he and Control Freak were gone with one of his yellow flashes.

"Not again!" Robin growled as he parried a katana from a samurai mannequin with his bo staff.

"Let's deal with these pests first, then we can get as angry as we want" Raven said calmly, throwing three of the stands at several of the mannequins with laser guns.

XXXXXX

"41… 42… 43… 44… are you… just going to… stand there…, or are you… going to… come in… 50" a now fully healed Naruto said as he counted the money he got from Control Freak, said orange haired villain sitting across a black large coffee table, both in red cushioned chairs in the middle of a dark abandoned lair, not much for decoration, save for the large, emphasis in LARGE, TV the size of the Titans' as well as a kitchen beside the small dark living room. Besides the TV was a stair that led up to Naruto's rooms, rooms as in he had more than one for any ally he may get, temporarily or not, all of them were blank and had only a bed, nightstand, a closet and a full bathroom, not much and simple but still nice.

The one he had talked to was Blackfire, who looked at the big handful of green notes in Naruto's hands, she had already finished her shower and was drying her hair with a towel, she went down to get a drink, once she took an ice cold soda she walked up to the blond, leaned her body on his body with her breasts pressing on his back and her chin in his head, making him hide his smirk in his hood, but giving Control Freak a discreet thumbs up which the villain responded with the all man's secret nod and discreet thumbs up of 'You rock, dude'.

"So you got all of this money for getting this couch potato some toys while humiliating my little sister?" she asked with a sadistic smirk the kitsune matched.

"And kissing that Raven girl" Naruto chuckled.

Blackfire, while angry and jealous, actually giggled evilly "You have a weird way with females…you're a very weird but very, very interesting human, Naruto"

"I know, being me is one of the best jobs ever" he chuckled and held up his pay "Fifty thousand bucks, smell them, all of these babies equal fifty of the very big ones" he said, sniffing the green bills with a smirk of satisfaction "I love the smell of money after a good beating given to a hero and kissing a cute chick…it smells like victory"

The dark haired alien shrugged and turned back to her room "Maybe next time I'll help you…when the client isn't as weird as that guy" she said, but had a thought in mind '_This blond earthling is much more amusing than the others…I will have to keep him, but sharing him…?_' she thought with a smile, a bit evil for a smile but still one.

Once she was gone the pudgy criminal motioned Naruto closer, which he complied "Is she always like this?" he whispered to the merc.

Naruto shook his head "Actually, she's kind 24/7 to me, and even flirty, even if she knows I kissed that Titan girl twice" he said, then felt the fat villain's hands on his shoulders and saw Control Freak crying manly tears.

"You are…an inspiration for all mankind" he said with admiration in his eyes.

The fox boy shrugged "I do what I can do" *BOOM!* "…Did the ground just shake?" the blond asked his former temporal boss, who nodded. Naruto smiled, cupped a hand near his mouth and called upstairs "Hey babe, wanna go out and have some fun with whatever is messing this city?"

She flew down, looked at him up and down, eying him carefully…before cracking a smirk "How about a bet?"

He returned the smirk with an arched eyebrow "Huh, you sure? I've got a veeeeeryyy good luck with me"

She giggled evilly "Honestly, I like the way you're playing with my little sister's only gal pal and how you mess up with the Titans' minds in your fun-loving way. So tell you what, you manage to make her kiss you on her own free will within a standard week's time…and I'll give you an even better kiss…and something much more" the brunette said in a tone that made the two males in the room feel chills in their spines.

But the merc was not stupid "And if I lose?" Naruto asked cautiously.

Blackfire smirked "Then I'll do to you all I want to, you shall be my obedient little pet and slave for a whole standard day"

Naruto didn't need a second to think after hearing the sly tone in her voice as he confidently smirked "Deal"

The kitsune suddenly felt something grip his right leg, turning his gaze down he saw Control Freak hugging it, crying in admiration and looking at him as if the insane merc were a god "My master!" the fat villain cried.

XXXXXX

(Moments earlier)

Raven was not having a good day, having been stolen of her first kiss and then her first deep French kiss from the same man who was a crazy maniac with several issues didn't make her very happy. So far she did what could calm her in this kind of situations: meditate…but that proved to be futile as well.

(Raven's mindscape)

The blue cloaked girl was surrounded…by more of her, all of them with different colored cloaks, each one representing an emotion in the vast, dark and deserted place, which was more like a desert in the night, except that it had a grey rocky ground instead of the white hot sand. So in this place of vast emptiness and peace she listened to her other selves…proving futile:

"I can't believe that jerk!" said a red cloaked Raven with four red glowing eyes hidden in her hood, her rage.

"Now, now, it was fun!" said a pink cloaked one, her happiness "I mean, he's a cool villain, it's like Romeo and Juliet with us"

"Yeah, it's fun to fight that guy and he always makes things much more exciting" said a green cloaked one, Brave Raven.

"But…I was hoping for our first kiss…to be more…romantic…" stammered the grey cloaked Timid Raven.

The real Raven for her part had an eyebrow twitching at her other selves' indecisive speeches that only served to fuel an incoming migraine. So she turned to leave, saying out loud "Next time I need help…I'll remember not to come back here"

The other Ravens looked at her with anger, a playful smile, cowered back in fear, smirked, felt ashamed…and all they did depending on their emotions…until their eyes widened when Raven bumped into someone else. And this writer reminds you this is her mind…so only her and her feelings and other parts of her own self should be there…and not the hooded, smirking figure.

"What the-?" was all the girls managed to say in their shock…before more of the hooded figures appeared, all of the colored differently, one for each girl with a smirk on their faces. What the original Raven noted was that while the one in front of her had an orange hoodie the others matched the one of the Raven in front of them.

The first one spoke to the original Raven "This is your mind…and now with me all over it you're feeling something new" he said and all of them pulled down their hoods, revealing none other than Naruto…smiling warmly and lovingly at each of the Ravens, said girls feeling their legs like jelly, to which the Naruto's chuckled, but instead of his mocking tone this one was warm "I mean, seriously, you and your other selves are thinking way too much of me…and now you managed to create your own me in your own mind for each of you…for this"

As those last words every single Raven got a full kiss in the lips.

(Back to the real world)

"AAAAAAAAHHHH!"

Raven, who had been levitating in a meditating position, abruptly fell down with a mad blush all over her face after her loud scream of shock and fear. Fortunately her room was meant for privacy so no one heard her, so she sighed in relief, wiped the sweat of her forehead, eased up her heavy breathing and tried to erase the memory of what happened in her mind…it didn't work.

"Goddamn…mental polluter" she cursed the merc as she could feel that the others her were enjoying a make-out session with their respected foxy boy, the original Naruto in her mind seemed gone…and while she hoped not to see him again she knew that he'd be there for her…and that, while she'd never ever admit it, made her happy "It's just a kiss" she said to herself, but it didn't manage to make the feeling of warmth in her lips go away, so sighing she walked out of her room to cool off, maybe Beastboy would be doing something stupid that could take her mind away from the blond.

She noted a green buffalo pulling a big rubber band to a hook, so seeing its unusual skin she approached her teammate, who now was back to normal and putting a pink balloon filled with some weird liquid in the rubber band. "This is gonna be so sweet" the green boy said in his prankster tone.

"What are you doing?" she asked, causing an unaware Beastboy to yelp in shock and almost drop the balloon. She looked at the weird artifact and in her monotone spoke "Please tell me this isn't another ridiculous prank"

"Ok, it's not a ridiculous prank" the green boy said with pride "It's a BRILLIANT one" Raven rolled her eyes "Ok, check this out: remember when Cyborg put red dye in my shampoo and I ended up brown for two days? Well, sister, it's payback time!" he said in excitement as he punched his palm "I give you the Beastboy Insta-Lube 9000" he explained "See, when Chrome Dome walks around the corner his foot tugs the string, the string trips the lever, the lever releases the mother of all rubber bands which sends a balloon full of old oil motor right at him and PLOOSH!" he exclaimed with both hands raised up before turning to her with a cocky smirk "Pretty clever, huh?"

The girl looked at him blankly for a few silent seconds, before dryly replying "You're a genius"

"It's just a little fun" the smirking boy replied. His left ear then perked up when the sound of a door opening was heard "Here he comes!" he said in excitement, grabbing Raven and hiding with her behind a wall. But while having looked to take her mind out of her thoughts, the pale skinned girl had doubts about this prank of her teammate's.

"I do not think-" she began.

"Shh" Beastboy silenced her.

"But what if-"

"Shh!"

"Why are we hiding?" said a new voice.

"Shh-" when the green Titan recognized the voice his eyes bugged out and he turned around to see in pure shock none other than his intended target crouching beside him and Raven, Cyborg. The small boy could only scream in shock "Aaaah! Cyborg? You can't be Cyborg!"

"I can't?" asked the confused large teen.

"If you're you, then who's…?" the changeling began as he and everyone turned to look and see Starfire walking around the corner, Beastboy looked in horror as she stepped on the string as everything went wrong "NOOOOO!" he cried, trying to stop the already launched balloon full of old oil…too late.

With a loud splash Starfire's face was covered in the gooey oil as she fell down. Raven watched as everything unfolded, the shocked and surprised Starfire trying to comprehend what happened, a sheepish Beastboy trying to apologize only to tell a very corny joke, then the alien girl getting real mad and calling him a Chlorbag…something.

Though fortunately for everyone Robin arrived as a crisis was happening in the city to take the super powered teens' minds away of the chaos of their normal…well, not so normal lives. Raven thanked it had nothing to do with the foxy blond, though part of her felt sad for that same reason.

XXXXXX

"Need…some…vacations…" complained a very tired Beastboy as he and the rest of the Titans were fighting two supernatural powered teens in the middle of Jump City's hanging bridge. The poor morphing green teen was not having a good day, first they lost Naruto and that creepy couch potato, then he messes up a prank meant for Cyborg and got old oil all over Starfire's face, which obviously didn't make happy the alien girl, and now he and his team were not having much fun fighting the two controllers of lightning and thunder.

However Naruto saw it all with an amused smile from atop the bridge hidden and watching the duo of storm controllers beat the Titans. The yellow skinned one was slim, had yellow hair in a haircut that resembled a lightning and wore an orange samurai armor, his name was Lightning. The second one was big and muscular, had a dark blue samurai armor as well as a matching helmet, he was blue skinned and his name was Thunder. Both brothers possessed control over the element they were named after, electricity and sound.

Yet Naruto also noted how the green changeling was spared by Thunder in a sportsman's manner so the Titan could get up and fight again, it amused him, but what amused him the most was how the morphing hero tried to reason with the bigger blue teen. But when it seemed that Beastboy made progress he was knocked back with a lightning strike by none other than…well, Lightning, making Naruto laugh his blond ass off at the half-fried hero.

Naruto saw the duo about to retreat…so he decided it was time to give someone a hand.

"Come on, brother, let's go find more amusement" Lightning said.

"Why? I can be very amusing, at least that's what some girls say about me" came a reply behind the Strom Twins.

Before anyone could react a fist impacted itself on Lightning's face, before a roundhouse kick connected with Thunder's sides. Both rampaging super teens fell down, rolling some yards away from their attacker, Naruto meanwhile pulled his hood down, a smirk of true amusement in his face as the Titans were shocked at what they were seeing.

"Attacking someone with their guards down is not a good sign of sportsmanship" Thunder commented as he got up, his hands ready to release a sonic blast.

Naruto smirked, rubbing the back of his head "Oh…maybe I forgot to say I fight dirty, my bad" he said in mock hurt.

"You're starting to anger us, kitsune" Lightning said as he aimed his hand to give the smirking merc a good two thousand bolts hit right in the face.

The fox boy for his part started to step on the tips of his toes in a lazy boxing stance "Then I'm doing my job just well"

With that said Naruto charged forward, a fist reeled back and the other forward in a defensive manner in front of him. "Nobody mocks the Storm Twins" Lightning growled and sent forward a real lightning storm. Naruto for his part dashed forward without a care, moving aside just in time as a blur of speed, the rays of electricity didn't manage to be even nearby enough to shock him. In a split second Naruto disappeared in one of his yellow flashes, then reappeared in front of Lightning, kicking the slim teen in the ribs and sending him up at least about the height of a three stories building.

"Brother!" Thunder called out worriedly to his sibling, before turning to Naruto "You're going to pay for that, kitsune" he roared, his right fist about to smash Naruto.

The Titans saw with wide eyes that Naruto wasn't using his yellow flashes, or even attempted to dodge the obviously bone crushing attack, but they were surprised by the blue humming orb of energy floating in his right palm that had formed apparently out of thin air.

With a wide grin Naruto pushed the orb against the large teen's fist, shouting "Rasengan!" the result was instantaneous:

*BOOM!*

Not only Thunder but even Naruto flew back as a large explosion of sonic waves and blue energy consumed a nice part of the bridge. The blue teen skidded in an unceremonious stop while Naruto managed to right himself midair and land on his feet, albeit also skidding a few feet until stopping…and dodging a lightning blast by jumping back.

Lightning, flying midair with his legs turned into lightning, and an angry scowl on his face "I may not know what trickery or witchcraft you're using, kitsune, but no one hurts the Storm Twins and goes unpunished"

Thunder rose up and cracked his knuckles loudly "And your punishment will be one to remember when the two of us crush you"

But Naruto shocked the two and the Titans once again as he chuckled, putting his index and middle fingers in a cross seal with his two hands "So…think numbers give you an advantage, huh?" he said with an amused smile…before smirking into an excited grin "Well, let me even it out: Shadow Clone Technique!"

And then, with a poof of smoke…another Naruto appeared "Oh man, now there's more of him?" asked a shocked Cyborg pointing to the duo of crazy mercs.

But the kitsune, once again proving his ability to surprise the snot out of everyone, turned to the Titans and actually…explained his technique "Well, I once used to be able to summon about hundreds of me's…but due to some…let's say, 'unsuspected events' done by some bastards who are long gone…I can only make five at max" he said with a frown and looking down, before smirking "But that's only with this technique, the others you've seen as well as others I have in stock are still what they used to be" he calmly explained.

(AN: to avoid questions; yes, the Leaf messed up Naruto as well as his chakra when they betrayed him, making him unable to make more than six of himself, him included, but he still has all his other jutsus and chakra control as well as abnormally large chakra reserves. Point being, I didn't want him to cover the battles with clones as that would be unfair, and this way battles are funnier. Will explain more as the fic progresses and he finally tells his past…but until then be patient)

Raven slightly glared at Naruto "Why are you telling us this? You'd have more advantage if you didn't"

Lightning looked at Naruto and blinked in disbelief, but still nodded "I agree with the dark magician. You told us of your technique as well as its limitations, why, kitsune?" he asked in simple curiosity.

The two Naruto's chuckled as the clone spoke "Because, we just wanted to" then the original continued "And because that way I even the battle and any future battle for you, all of you…and sooner or later one would know of my limitations from fighting the Titans, so I decided to spoil you guys a bit if I could have some fun with any way you could counterattack my moves"

Thunder chuckled in good humor "You're a strange one, kitsune, but I admire that weird sense of honor of yours, now let us resume our fight"

"No need to tell us twice!" the two Naruto's shouted as one and charged.

The two opposing pairs charged and collided, Thunder threw a fist which Naruto's caught, the fox boy attempted to return the hit, but his fist was caught by the large blue teen. The two were in a deadlock trying to push the other back to put him off balance and get the required opening for a direct hit. The original merc and Lightning were exchanging lightning blasts, shurikens and kunais as both ran/flew along the bridge.

"You are quite amusing, kitsune" Lightning complimented as he avoided a shuriken.

"I live to make life more chaotic" was Naruto's reply as he jumped above a good two hundred thousand bolts.

Meanwhile the clone and Thunder had to step back simultaneously as they saw no progress in their tug-o-war. So at the moment those two were in a mixture of boxing, karate and just plain old wanting-to-beat-the-other's-face-in kung fu. Trading blow after blow and blocking or dodging any attack too close for comfort the two unleashed powerful blows that when blocked the force would travel through one of their bodies and then to the ground, shaking it with strong tremors, but the two still didn't let the other take even a step forward while not daring to move back.

"This is going nowhere real fast" Naruto commented as he blocked a backhanded punch with his forearm and tried to land an axe kick.

"But a battle is where the excitement resides!" Thunder roared in excitement as he blocked the kick with both arms, brought them up and swung them down to smash Naruto.

"True" the blond said completely carefree as he jumped away from the large teen's arms, which had created big cracks in the bridge.

At that moment the original Naruto landed beside the clone, Lightning burning the path behind the blond as he tried to fry him. The clone saw the original and ran up to him, both skidded to a stop and turned around, putting themselves back to back, leaning in the other's back to gain a bit of support and protect themselves from the small openings on their blind spots.

But both Naruto's noted the large cracks created from the explosion of the Rasengan against Thunder's sound waves, the large teen's smash and the yellow teen's lightning blasts all over the area they were standing on. One bad move with the whole area they were in would collapse, which was enough to park about six trucks…and the blondes just smirked. The original Naruto then knew it was time to say something he had wanted to say for far too long since he started to fight super powered teens, he and his clone exchanged smirks and the copy poofed out of existence in a cloud of smoke while the original stood in place with two kunais, one in each hand.

The crazy merc smiled and gave a small laugh "So it comes down to this. We all are down to our last hit-point and now here am I, but the question still remains. Can you hit me with one shot before I fire these two kunais and take you out? Keep in mind I am able to shoot about a dozen of this kind of projectiles and shoot dead in the center of my intended target fifteen times faster than what a hummingbird could flap his wings once. So ask yourselves," Naruto smirked and said the something he'd wanted to say since the first time he had touched a kunai "Do you feel lucky, punks?" his smirk grew "Well, do ya?"

The two brothers looked at each other, then back to Naruto, and Lightning shrugged "Yeah, we do"

But before anyone could blink three figures leapt over the smirking and hit the Strom Twins with their own projectiles. Then two more appeared, Beastboy as a kangaroo and Cyborg, the first giving two well placed kicks to Lightning and the second landing a punch to Thunder's jaw. The two chaotic siblings flew high in the air, but were still not beaten.

Looking down they glared at the Titans, but knew that battling against them and Naruto was already too much after the punishment they got. So Thunder summoned a cloud in which he stood to fly while his brother used his own powers to do so too.

The blue teen sneered but turned to Lightning "Come on, brother. We need to rest for a while, and then we'll be able to fight them in better and equal conditions"

Lightning was about to say no, he wanted to fight and beat them…but then he noted the sharp pain in his arm and turned to see the kunai embedded in it, he grunted while taking it out, but reluctantly nodded "Alright, first we'll heal our injuries…then I think we'll have real amusement with these unusual warriors" he said and turned to Naruto, pointing at him with a glare "Mark my words, kitsune. Next time we meet you better pray to whoever watches over your soul"

The kitsune gave a two fingered salute and smiled "Will do so"

And with that the Strom Twins were gone, so after the battle was over…the Titans surrounded the blond kitsune, a green python wrapped around him to keep the crazy merc from moving, a staff pointed at his chin, a sonic cannon in his right temple and green star bolts in the left. Last but not least, Raven had the 'make a move, you die' look as she stood behind her team, but her hands glowing with dark magic told him she would carry her threat and Naruto knew she would because he had stolen her first kiss and her first deep French kiss.

But being himself, Naruto laughed "Oh come on, I helped you with those two guys and this is kind of greeting I get? At least Beastboy here was considerate enough to give me a hug"

"This is not a joke, you're going to jail, Naruto" Robin said in an angry tone.

Naruto laughed "Come on, that's the best threat you can do? I've been used as some sort of rage-rag doll…thingy by the cutie in the cloak" he chuckled at the angry glares from said girl and the Titans' leader "Well, if you want me to feel fear, threatening me with watching the whole saga of Twilight, now THAT is _real_ torture"

"HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! Nice one, dude!" Everyone turned to see Beastboy, back to his normal form and laughing his green ass off. The green boy was leaning against a car, holding his sides. Tears were running down his face, as he tried to catch his breath to talk, "D-dude! This guy *Gasp* is hilarious!" The other Titans proceeded to give him strange looks. Then, when his laughing attack subsided, Beastboy looked around and laughed nervously "Hehehe…sorry"

"Ha, fancy meeting someone with a sense of humor here" Naruto said with a hillbilly kind of accent as he stretched his arms a bit…before being imprisoned in a sphere of dark magic.

"Don't you dare move" Raven coldly commanded as she and the other Titans approached him.

Naruto had to fight back a comeback involving whips, oil and kinky themes to avoid real pain, so he laughed mockingly "And if I didn't move then you'd lose the help of someone who so nicely wants to give you a hand"

"What?" everyone asked in shock.

Naruto chuckled "Why fight this time?" he asked, turning his head to Robin "It's just as they say, the enemy of my enemy is my enemy"

"And why should we believe in you after you stole a bank, robbed a comic convention and helped three supervillains escape?" questioned the leader of the Titans.

Naruto laughed some more "Why, my dear delusional bird boy…isn't it obvious? If those two destroy Jump City then how can I be its king?"

Robin scoffed "So we should trust you because you don't want anyone to destroy the city you want to control? Why should I even believe you right now? You would destroy the city one way or another to get it in your control and even help villains if it gives you some money"

The merc waved at him casually as best he could in the dark sphere's tight grip "Meh, what the hell are you so worked up for? It's better to enjoy life laughing and blowing up steam even if it means to destroy things, it's bad to let it all in when you can let it all out in peaceful ways that are fun, and if it gives food to fill my belly then it's better"

"Are you insane or just love pissing people off?" Robin growled.

"A little of column A, a little of column B and Pinky from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is my favorite character" everyone sweat-dropped "What? The fact I'm an insane maniac who works as a merc and enjoys kicking hero butt doesn't mean I don't enjoy a good kiddies' show to get away from all the inappropriate, negative shit for once"

"I propose the voting system humans use in these situations" Starfire chided in and raised her hand "I propose our alliance with Temporal Friend Naruto"

"Wha- Starfire, you can't be serious! He's a mercenary, for crying out loud! He'd do anything for money!" Robin protested.

Naruto defended himself "Hey, feathers for brain, it might not seem so but even mercs have their own code of honor and ethics, otherwise we would lose good clients. For example, in my little announcement I've never even mentioned about taking a life…sure, I'd kidnap someone, but assassinations are kind of against my rules because that shit always brings trouble one way or another"

"Shut up!" Robin yelled and turned to the redhead alien "Come on, Star, why do you even think we should give him a chance after all the trouble he caused?"

The orange girl gave Naruto a glance before…smiling, in a thankful way "Because he saved my sister" she answered matter-of-factly "He could have so easily escaped and let us fight her, and then she would have been easily captured by her pursuers, but instead he decided to aid her, and I think if someone helps a person like that even when the odds say it's best to take a tactical retreat it must mean there is kindness in that person's heart" she then squealed like a schoolgirl "I'm just happy that my sister might have found a man capable of being good for her"

The other Titans sweat dropped at the alien girl's antics, but Naruto smiled as he saw the green teen walking with a hand raised "I'm also with Starfire, she's got a point, and a guy who makes jokes as good as mine means no harm" he said smiling to said girl, who huffed indifferently and turned away, turning the small boy's smile into a sad frown.

Suddenly Cyborg's cannon turned back into his normal arm, which he raised "I'm with Star on this, Robin, because, no offense, but we're not that strong against those two brothers and Naruto here is a one man powerhouse. And listening to his crazy but still kind offer as well as he telling us of his powers and even saying he wants to fight us evenly in a fair fight…well, I think we should try to cope with him, if only for this once. Besides, I don't recall Naruto ever doing anything to mean us fatal harm even while fighting" at this part he turned serious and aimed his cannon at the kitsune's head once again "But if you dare so much as sneeze when we don't give you permission I'll be the one to shoot first"

The insane hanyo chuckled "Trust me, I've got that in mind"

Robin reluctantly pulled his staff away from Naruto, then turned to Raven and nodded, the gothic girl reluctantly freed the blond "Ok…it seems we have a truce…for now" the Boy Wonder said deadly serious "We will work with you because you are actually willing to help us, but in case this is a trap" he then pulled out what seemed like a simple metal bracelet "This will shoot enough tranquilizers in your blood system to leave you in a two week coma, is that understood?"

Naruto nodded and grabbed the bracelet "Oh, and I didn't get you a gift" he said with a smirk, before stretching his hand "So what about this? We work together and then, when those two guys are down, all of us will walk out separate ways, with me giving you back this bracelet" he saw Robin's eyes narrow, but the foxy thief chuckled "Come on, Robin, we all have our honor even if we don't want to admit it. I promise on my very own life I will help you, but only if you let me be free after this…well, would you shake a poor sinner's hand?"

Robin looked intently at the blonde's eyes for any trace of lying or any ill intent, seeing none the Boy Wonder managed to get back his usual cool manner and nodded "While I don't want you free and causing more trouble…I give you my word, you'll be free without the bracelet to stop you…but next time we meet don't expect any mercy from us" he said and shook Naruto's hand in a way to confirm all parties approved of this reluctant, in one side, truce.

Naruto smirked as he and Robin pulled their hands back and willingly put the bracelet on before turning to Raven "And what do I get from you?" he asked with a foxy grin.

She glared "If you so much as dare to step within a three feet radius near me after what you did I'll give you a one way ticket to I.C.U. You should count yourself lucky I can keep my emotions in check"

Naruto nodded but still kept his smirk, which angered the gothic heroine.

XXXXXX

Sadly for Raven, she was teamed up with Naruto in the search of the two supernatural brothers. The reason? Because the only one who could keep Naruto at bay and at least manage to injure him was none other than the gothic girl, and everyone knew that, even the foxy mercenary.

Naruto easily kept up with the pale skinned Titan, proving once again why he was so good at his job as a merc. He jumped from building to building with ease and landed without even making a sound no matter what distance or height was in his path, as if throwing himself from a fifty story building to the ground were like throwing a feather down. He easily wall-walked, leapt and even warped great distances with ease just to keep up with the girl flying as far as possible from him while enjoying the air in his face and the adrenaline rushes of the free-fall experience.

Soon he stopped atop a radio's antenna, crouched down in a predatory way like a hawk readying itself to grab its prey, his smirk growing wider and wider as the cool air of the night refreshed his uncovered head. He patiently waited for his prey to arrive, and when she did he attacked:

"Still wondering why I said we two had something in common?" he asked without a care as Raven flew at his side.

"What are you talking about?" she asked in her monotone.

Naruto smirked "About why you still don't hurt me or try to at least insult me after I stole those kisses from you"

The girl's eyes narrowed "That's because of how easily I can keep my emotions in check, otherwise you'd see real nightmares…" she trailed off, letting her hidden threat fly, only to widen her eyes a bit when she heard him chuckle.

"That's what I'm talking about" Naruto said and turned to look at her with his charming foxy grin "You and I have both something to keep in check…mainly that horrible pain caused by hatred and sorrow deep in our chests"

Raven raised her left eyebrow "While I admit your sense of dark poetry is good, you do not impress me. What's your point here, what do you mean with all of this cryptic crap?"

Naruto turned to face her and gave a good hearty chuckle "The best part of a story…is to find out the secrets behind it by yourself" Raven didn't do or say a thing, she had expected him to keep his secrets even if he were completely insane. Suddenly the blond turned around with an amused smirk "It seems that your two teammates, Beastboy and Starfire have found the two" he then turned to her with an ear-to-ear smirk "We should help them out, because when two teammates don't work together things get messy, I know about that" he mumbled the last part to himself, but Raven made a mental note to check that out.

The two flew/jumped to where the changeling and the alien girl were fighting the duo of supernatural teens. But as they approached the place Naruto's face turned a bit surprised as his eyes widened and his mouth lost his usual smirk, and without his hood Raven noticed this "What's the matter? Found something interesting where we're headed?"

Naruto nodded, his usual smirk still not back "I feel…a presence, an all too familiar presence I didn't expect to see" he said aloud, thinking to himself '_So that's master's business…but, why? And what's his plan? He made his name of very little acknowledge for the Titans…so what's his benefit if he already has an apprentice like…me?_' Soon Naruto smirked and turned to Raven "Wanna bet?"

The girl raised an eyebrow but saw no harm in it, and if there was she'd inflict it on him "What's in it?"

Naruto smirked '_Gotcha_' he landed in an abandoned building and turned to speak calmly to her "If the presence I felt is who I think it is then there are two possibilities: one, he fights you and your team, and two, he fights you and your team…and me" he then turned to face the heroine with his smirk all over his face "So here's the deal, if he fights only you and your team I'll fight him and tell you everything I know about him, including any dirty little secret he may have"

Raven nodded, but still…"And what if he also fights you since the beginning?"

The smirk Naruto gave her made the girl feel a bit uneasy "If he fights you five and me…then I want a reward for my bad luck" he then flashed her his foxy smile "In other words: a long, fat kiss from you"

His response was to be forced to jump over the trash dumpster Raven threw at him, the kitsune turned to see her surrounded by more trash dumpsters, old abandoned cars and everything as big to crush him under it, a vein was pulsating in her forehead and her mouth was twisted into an angry expression as her eyes screamed murder.

"Say that again and I'll feel _every_ one of your holes with something three sizes your body" she threatened, putting emphasis on 'every'.

But the hanyo just smirked "Come on, what's there to lose? It's a fair fifty-fifty opportunity, and knowing my odds I'll tell you this wholeheartedly: you have much more odds at me not getting that kiss. Besides, I'd be helping you either way" he then extended his hand to hers "So, deal?"

This time he was hit directly in the face with a wheel "There's your answer" Raven said and flew away from the kitsune rubbing his face and nursing a bloody nose.

Naruto smirked "I'll take that as a maybe"

**XXXXXX**

**And that's a rap! Next chapter will conclude this episode, sorry, but finding and writing the chapters with the episodes take time, even if I did skip some parts it takes some time to watch and write, and since I also want to put my original stuff…well, I decided to upload this and leave you guys with a small cliffhanger before I update in two days max! Expect more craziness and Naruto driving the Titans even more insane.**

**Have a nice day, Swordslinger out!**


	4. Chapter 4

I OWN NOTHING, because I'm an average guy destined to have crazy ideas, but that's the fun part about life, no critics in your own little world

Note: I just know some of you want my blood after seeing my note saying 'Two days max' and that most of you now must have thought 'Two days max, my ass'. Well, blame SOPA, that fucking law banned the place I was watching the episodes, sadly it just happened right when I was about to start this chapter like a whole LOT of other sites I loved… so yeah, give the middle finger to SOPA and the asshats who backed it up. I went looking for sites where I could be able to see the episodes, with not too much luck, until one kind reader and fan of this fic, Spartan Ninja, gave me a link to a page free of SOPA now that that damned law didn't pass.

**XXXXXX**

Lightning, Thunder, Fire and Fox

Raven and Naruto arrived to the remains of the battle, looking at the green changeling pulling rocks desperately, and they just assumed the worst like the short Titan. But the crazy merc noted the lack of…death, and just smirked at what he saw in mild amusement.

"Star? Starfire?" Beastboy asked "Where are you?" he began to crawl around the debris in search for his friend "Come on, give me a sign here" as he got no response the green boy got on his knees and started to dig out the rocks "You have to be alright, ok?" he said, in hopes of hearing the alien girl's voice "'Cuz I…It was just a joke, you know? Back at the tower and...I'm sorry" he said truthfully "I've never said it but I'm really, really sorry…It was supposed to be funny…and you could have been hurt and…" he paused to grunt as he took out a bigger rock…before slapping his head in realization no one heard him, hanging his head low in sorrow "…I'm a total chlorbag"

Naruto actually smiled at what he saw, not his sadistic smile, but a true warm one, because when the small hero noted the shadow covering him the green changeling turned and saw, to his great, pleasant surprise "Starfire!" Beastboy cried as he morphed into an adorable kitten and jumped into the girl's arms, who hugged him tenderly.

The alien girl giggled "I am glad you are unharmed as well"

Beastboy instantly turned back to normal, getting on his knees with his hands in a praising manner "I am sooooo sorry, you gotta forgive me!" he pleaded.

The girls smiled and put her hands on his shoulders "I already have" she said as her friend stood up before taking a serious face "Now those evil brothers must be made to apologize"

But, surprising the blond, Beastboy shook his head with a dead serious face "I don't think they are evil…I think they're just like me"

Naruto nodded as he and Raven stood out of the shadows "You got quite a good eye, green boy. Must be the veggies" he said with his insane smile, earning a chuckle from said changeling at the rather bad joke. "Now, as my furry friend here said, I don't think those two are the kind to be evil and cold hearted… they're more like me, but not as twisted"

"And that's a relief" Raven said with her monotone.

Naruto smirked, leaned near the green teen and whispered "Because that way she doesn't have to choose"

Beastboy got into a laughing fit, patting the blond on the shoulder goodheartedly, and when he finally got his breath back, after getting weird looks from the alien girl and an annoyed one from the magician, he gave the blond a thumbs up and said "Nice one, dude. You should be a comedian"

"Nah, I wouldn't want to leave gloomy and cloaked over there that lonely" Naruto said hanging an arm around the now once again laughing smaller boy. Both laughed loudly, even if Raven had her eyes covered in fire of hatred after hearing those last words so clearly, her teeth grinding hard enough to cause sparks as her mind ran with thoughts of making the two laughing idiots in front of her suffer a very painful and oh so slow death that'd made demons have mercy on their souls.

"Enough fooling around!" shouted none other than Robin with Cyborg right behind, stopping Raven's train of thought before it went into the section of sharp weaponry after thinking of an Iron Maiden for her payback.

The crazy merc noted the short hero and waved causally "Oh lookit here, Lilliput's king… how ya been?" said boy's face turned into an expression of barely held back anger as a tick mark appeared on his forehead, his mouth twisting in an angry contortion while his hands twitched in a strangling manner.

But just as fast as it came, the leader of the Titans calmed his emotions and pointed a finger at their unlikely ally "You…will…SHUT UP!" he shouted, finally releasing his anger, before getting back his cool stoic attitude "Now that we all are here, we need to find where those two are heading to-"

"Look for the forest" Naruto interrupted the hero "There's a familiar presence with them…a presence I know of"

The Boy Wonder narrowed his eyes "Start talking"

But all the merc did was chuckle "Now, now…why would I explain anything to you?"

At that mocking tone Robin grabbed the foxy boy's hoodie collar and pulled him close to him "Listen, people might be in danger, so you better start talking or we'll have a lot of time getting to know each other better… by making you beg for mercy!"

Naruto chuckled and spoke with a mirthful, evil mocking tone (Hazama from Blazblue) "Oh man…I pity you, I pity you all…I really do…but oh my God if this fun for me. I mean, this feeling of power and the ability to hold this kind of information over your heads like a piece of cheese as if you were just a bunch of filthy hungry rats is…just too much!" the merc chuckled more, before clutching his sides and starting to laugh: "This is just…hehehehe…oh, ex-…hahahaha, oh, please excuse me…hahahahahahahahahaha, please forgive me…hehehehe…sorry, I haven't laughed like this in quite a while…hahahahahahahaha…it might take me a moment to…hahahaha…catch my breath…*Breathe* Oh *Breathe* Ah…much better" he said at last, wiping a tear from his right eye.

But his cheery mood was cut for just a second when he received a sucker punch to the face from an angry Robin, who still had the _still_ smiling merc grabbed by his collar, supporting the kitsune as his legs were bended mid-fall. The apprentice of the fearless hero put his face inches from Naruto's and shouted "Listen, I've had enough of this shit of yours! You're going to tell us what you know or else-"

"Or else what?" asked a defiant Naruto, shocking the rest of the Titans almost as much as Robin's anger did, it was not easy to get the bird themed hero enraged, and much less to still smile right in his face without fear. Naruto chuckled again, enjoying the anger of his temporary ally "I know about those two's whereabouts…you don't, and that's what gives me the advantage…unless of course you want to break your promise of honor about letting me help you in exchange of my freedom, and before you say shit like I must help you like some submissive bitch…we all know you are not the kind of person to kill or truly torture someone, not even the kind to break promises…I know of you…Batman taught you that much"

"Calm down!" Cyborg said as he instantly grabbed his leader's fist before it smashed the insane kitsune's face "Listen, I know you hate him, but this guy has our only piece of info in all of this"

Gritting his teeth in anger, Robin could only do one thing, negotiate: "Then what do you want?"

The merc smiled more, even if he was still in the hero's vicious and angry grip, but had already expected that question: "The point here is not what I want…but what the cloaked cutie behind us wants…"

"What are you talking about?" asked said, now enraged, gothic girl.

But the blond wouldn't stop smirking "Our little bet…are you up for it or not?"

"No, and I don't plan on it even if it were a life or death situation" Raven growled, and Raven growling means something can die if the choice of words she hears are not of her liking. But did that scare our merc? Of course not!

He smiled at the other Titans and fake whispered "I think she loves me!"

That did it!

With an insane primal cry of rage Raven and everything around her went dark, well, since it was nighttime everything went darker. Point is, Naruto found himself with an odd sense of déjà vu as his body was slammed like a hammer against the ground to the point of breaking it, thrown as if he were a rag doll owned by someone with mental problems and lots of anger inside and even grinded on the ground to add some pain.

"Wow, Temporary Friend Naruto is really durable" Starfire said once Raven was done as she and the rest of the Titans popped out from under their hiding place.

But, did our crazy gun for hire regret his choice of words after being beaten half to death? Of course not! He smiled some more "Kinky, I like that!"

Before Raven could do any more damage to the foxy madman, she found herself walking in a shadow, looking up she saw her whole team…lunging at her and five inches from her face. In an instant the Titans were in a totem starting with Raven's head, then Cyborg's, Starfire's, Robin's and Beastboy's at the top.

"Do not harm in lethal ways our temporary friend, Raven!" the alien girl cried as she and the rest tried to keep said hooded girl pinned down.

Robin nodded "Starfire's right. As much as I hate Naruto's guts…we have to work with him" he said, spitting the last part with venom.

Beastboy added his two cents "Come on, Rae, take one for the team… and I even promise to stop joking for a whole day"

Raven went quiet and thought about it a bit. The possibility…nay, the simple thought of Beastboy not saying even one joke for a whole day was too good to let it pass… but the price was still high. Sadly for her, the smirking blond wanted an answer soon as he extended his arm to her.

"What ya say, babe? We seal this with a handshake before we go kick some ass?"

XXXXXX

Atop the forest's hill the Strom Twins were watching in horror the catastrophe they had unleashed by hearing to the old man's words. Said man was wearing a traditional Japanese outfit with his head was under a hat of the similar style with a kanji symbol on it resembling the letter 'S'. He had long white hair and a white thin mustache and was holding a cane to support himself with.

"Burn fire, burn it all!" the man said to the abomination in front of it. A giant made of pure fire with a ragged mouth that would look fitting in a scarecrow, its body as tall as a five story building with thin limbs and sharp claws, and the old man's symbol was in the center of its forehead.

But before it even started its path of destruction downhill to the suburbs of the city, a certain squad of teenager superheroes and their unlikely ally arrived.

"Didn't they tell you?" Robin asked "If you play with fire you're going to get burned"

"Lame!" Naruto said, getting a tick mark from the hero "I mean it! You heroes always use lame one-liners… it's almost predictable…You guys do, truly you do, have a tongue better than a thirty dollar hooker"

"That's it!" Robin shouted as he took out his bo staff… however his rage was cut short when a large blast of fire separated the team in two, Naruto, Robin and Starfire in one near the top and the others downhill. The acrobatic hero knew he had to swallow his anger and so he did "Alright, we need to stop that thing before it burns down all of the city"

Naruto smirked as he shouted to the others "You heard Tiny!" he said getting the desired effect fo a tick mark on Robin, before shouting something he had long wanted to shout:

"Titans, GO!"

"That's MY line!" Robin shouted to the merc, however he and his team did follow the order.

The tall monster began to move, and so did the Titans and their unlikely ally, Robin reached into his pockets before pulling out a pair of smoke bombs to stop the monster, it worked for a few seconds and it gave Raven the time she needed: "Flames can't spread if there's nothing for it to burn. **AZARATH METRION ZINTHOS!**" and with her dark magic the gothic girl began to take the trees out of the monster's reach to avoid the flames from consuming a lot more space.

Robin noted her plan "Good idea, Raven. Beastboy, Starfire, help her out!" and both did as ordered, the green teen changing into a buffalo and charging at the trees, knocking them down, the alien girl provided help with her star bolts.

Last but not least, with a sonic charged fist and being in front of the monster, Cyborg jumped and brought down his fist on the ground, a large sonic blast hitting the dirt floor and the monster in one clean hit.

"Is he out?" Beastboy ventured to ask.

"Knowing the one behind this…" Naruto began to say before Fire got back to full power and with a lot more of anger.

"Had to ask" a shocked Raven told the green changeling.

As the monster began to charge itself once again to incinerate everything and anyone nearby both the hooded blond and the birdy hero noted the figure atop the hill accompanied by the Strom Twins.

Naruto chuckled "Well… he's not attacking me… so I guess dark and cute won't kiss me" he said aloud while lazily rubbing the back of his head despite being in front of a fire monster. He turned to the leader of the hero squad and smiled "The guy you're seeing over there is the one I told you about, do not take him lightly"

Robin narrowed his eyes at the old man behind the monster's creation, yet nodded, but was still wary "So, you think you can help beat that thing?" he asked the blond.

Naruto took a thinking pose, then smirked "Ah. Well...Yeah! Absolutely! Not a shadow of a doubt!" he said as he took off his hood, revealing his kitsune ears and an excited smirk "Don't worry for me, I'll be fine"

Robin growled "I am not worried about you, I want to know you can protect my friends while I deal with that guy for some answers"

The blond stood quiet for a few seconds, before casually walking to the monster and the other Titans still fighting it "Meh, you worry too much, it's not like I'm a traitor that would kill his own teammates for power" he said, and the masked boy noted the tone of venom in those words.

The hero suppressed the urge to ask about it, knowing the blond would say not a word, but nodded "Alright, you go there, I'll take care of him!"

XXXXXX

Atop the hill our mysterious elder man watched the kitsune merc approach the monster he created thanks to the two supernatural teens' help '_And as always, you work for your code of honor, Naruto… Well, that makes you worthy of being my successor, but what about your competition?_' he said with a mental sigh before turning to the Storm Twins "Go, young masters. Fire is your creation, don't let them stop your fun"

"Yes, we must fight, and take revenge on that kitsune!" Lightning said in cheer excitement.

"But brother…" Thunder began, only to be cut by his annoyed brother.

"Do not annoy me with your foolish concerns, now come!" and with that both disappeared in a beam of lightning to engage the heroes and the merc.

Slade let out a chuckle as he turned around… only to here a loud shout and see Robin coming at him with a flying kick, said kick connecting with the old man's cane and taking it clean off his hands… only for a moment, for when Robin landed he saw the old man raise a hand and summon his cane back with a smile on his face.

"Robin, we meet at last" the old man said with a grin.

"Who are you?" the hero asked, but saw that he wouldn't get an answer as the old man ran at him, he mimicked him and soon both began to fight.

XXXXXX

Naruto saw the Titans attack the fire monsters with everything they had, sadly that thing wouldn't stay out. That was until Raven focused most of her dark magic in her hands before a large blast as big as the creature unoriginally named Fire hit its mark, leaving a paralyzed body made of coal in front of the five teens.

But the moment of joy was short lived when the monster moved back again and summoned more fire around itself, before blasting the Titans back. They struggled to their feet, only to be met with a lightning blast that threw them back to the ground. And from the sky none other than Lightning and Thunder appeared, ready to face the Titans.

The only two still conscious were Naruto, who had kept his distance, and Beastboy, who had been lucky enough to be away from the others "I take the one with the anime haircut, you the one with the helmet?" the blond asked the changeling, who was now a big green tiger that roared something that seemed more of a 'yes' and a 'no'.

As the two blond teens started to fight, Thunder stared at the green tiger before him with his hand raised to blast the changeling "Stand aside, green one"

All he got as a reply was a roar from the tiger before the two charged… but they never crashed against one another, the just barely got close enough to cause any harm to the other opponent before time stopped. Soon Beastboy found himself surrounded by purple clouds as a distorting image of his tiger self stood in front of another distorting image of Thunder in this weird otherworldly realm.

"_I do not wish to fight you_" Thunder said truthfully through his mind.

"_But you want to destroy homes and innocent lives?_" questioned the green tiger through his mind.

"_No!_" the blue teen replied.

"_Then what are you fighting for?_" the hero asked.

"_My brother and I… the old man says we are unique, gifted, better-_"

"_Gifts don't make you better, just different_" the boy argued "_It's how you use them that counts_"

The larger teen stood there, taking in the young boy's rather wise words… before realizing what he had to do.

(Seconds before - With Naruto and Lightning)

In a yellow flash thanks to his Hiraishin Naruto stepped in front of the lightning manipulator. The supernatural teen had his right hand charged with a good million bolts ready to shock the blond now hoodless merc, however Naruto had a trick up his sleeve. Just as the lightning covered hand was about to strike him Naruto reached inside a secret compartment in his gauntlets and pulled out a pair of… metal rectangles?

Lightning was a bit surprised by the odd weapon, they were about an inch thick, three inches wide and about two foot long. Both were silver… and actually covered in what seemed small gusts of wind flowing around them. But the surprise didn't end there, the blond had actually parried his attack… and wasn't getting shocked!

"Like it?" the blond asked mockingly "Something for you to remember, wind can cut through anything, even your lightning" he said as he pushed Lightning back, forcing the teen to backpedal and leave himself wide open as Naruto swung his weapons… and revealed their secret.

With one swing Lightning felt a sharp pain in his chest and looked down to notice two large cuts across his armor, and the one responsible was none other than the blond holding two butterfly swords in his hands, smiling peacefully as he played with the larger versions of simple butterfly knives. The blades had only one single edge like a katana sword and there was a bit of Lightning's own blood in both before Naruto wiped it out with a single swing as he smirked more before wind began to gather around both blades like a shield made of wind.

"It seems you have your tricks" Lightning said before charging more electricity to his hands "But my power has no limits" he said as he raised his hand and-

*BOOM!*

Naruto blinked, put the butterfly swords back in his gauntlets to rub his eyes with his hands and then blinked again. In front of him a large blue sonic blast had blown the yellow teen away from him, and he saw none other than Thunder walking towards his own brother with the intention to stop the other member of the Strom Twins, so yeah, he wasn't hallucinating.

He saw a certain green teen running to him "We need to go, that monster is about to reach the homes!" he shouted and Naruto soon followed him to the other Titans. However he did take a glance at the fight going on between the two siblings… feeling something weird, a bit of hatred at seeing siblings fight and much more seeing that Thunder was taking the beating, but also some respect towards the green teen. To see the large blue teen do something for the goodness of his heart was something the blond hadn't expected, but the short boy did surprise him.

"What did you do?" he asked the changeling.

"Long story short, I gave him a little speech I once heard" the hero said with a small smile as both continued to run, Naruto smirking.

'_I might like this dude… at least if he's not getting in my way_' he thought as he and the shape shifting hero arrived where the other three Titans were, Cyborg having a gloom look in his only human eye.

"Those houses go, the whole city could go. We gotta stop the fire" the cybernetic teen said seriously.

"How?" Raven asked.

"Any way we can" Cyborg replied as he ran towards Fire with the others back in tow, before noting Naruto and asking "Any plan you may have?"

"Actually, I do have one" the blond said as he summoned a clone, both running at the enormous fire monster with the original in the lead and the clone behind, the first having one open hand left behind as the other reached for it… and a familiar blue humming orb started to take form, only bigger, and getting bigger, and bigger… and even bigger, until:

"Take it and like it!" the blond and his clone shouted in unison as they jumped and rammed the oversized Rasengan on Fire's face "Oodama Rasengan!"

The result was instantaneous, a large blast of Naruto's chakra blew the enormous fire creature back with the power the likes of a cannon used to destroy a wall. Fire's head was painfully reeled back as the monster took the attack at pointblank. Naruto smirked as he saw the monster stand there, its arms and back hanging backwards, and then smiled at the Titans giving them a two fingered military mocking salute as they tried to get out of their stupor.

"So cool…" Beastboy managed to whisper.

Naruto smiled as he felt a bit cocky "And that's why you don't mess with Jump City unless you're me, its future King, baby! Hahahahahahaha" he laughed maniacally before turning to the gothic girl "Now, babe, I must tell you about our bet" the hooded girl grimaced as he smiled more "Well, you-"

*BOOM!*

The merc's next line died in his throat as he slowly turned his head back and saw, to his expected horror, Fire, now very angry at him. Instantly and out of his sharp reflexes, the kitsune jumped back to the other Titans when the large monster attempted to smash him with his feet as if he were a bug, a somehow fitting analogy seeing as the crazy merc was about the size of one when compared to Fire.

"Well… we're boned" Naruto said flatly as Fire approached them.

"Don't you have any other trick?" Cyborg asked as he fired at the monster to slow it down with his sonic cannon with Starfire and Raven backing him up.

"Yes, but sadly the only trick I got that can work needs water, and a lot of it" the blond said truthfully as he summoned five clones around him, that being his limit of clones to use. All six Naruto's pulled out several kunais, each had a small piece of paper attached to it, and he spoke once again "And this one will only give us some time" he said before all six of him threw the kunais at the monster's feet, once the fire reached the papers:

*BOOM!*

Fire stumbled a bit at the feeling of the powerful explosion under his feet and staggered as he tried to regain some balance, but nonetheless kept his advance even if at a small pace. Cyborg meanwhile stared wide-eyed at the kitsune beside him.

"What kinda paper do you use, man?" he asked in shock.

Naruto smirked "Now, now, that'd be telling" he said as he now took out his butterfly swords "But sadly, that was all the ammo I had, and my only trick left against this thing, while being insanely powerful, only strengthens fire" he said as he charged some wind to his blades and ran to the trees "I'll go and stop the fire from spreading as best I can, you four try to stop it somehow"

"Like we have a choice" Cyborg replied as he and the other Titans ran to the houses to use whatever they could to stop Fire as Naruto cut all the trees that were being consumed by the flames to at east slow down the fire from getting even more out of control.

XXXXXX

*Crash!*

"Umph!" Thunder groaned as he hit a rocky wall behind him, before falling to the ground, he looked at his brother as Lightning loomed closer, ready to shock his sibling with another good amount of electricity. Thunder looked sadly at his brother and asked "Tell me, brother, are we having fun?"

Lightning stood there, his hand still ready to unleash thousands of bolts… before he lowered it down "No" he replied.

"Observe" the blue teen said pointing to the Titans and Naruto.

Beastboy had morphed into an elephant using himself to shoot water at the monster via his long nose, Raven providing backup with her dark magic, Cyborg using an open fire hydrant and his bare hands to shoot even more water at the monster, Starfire however stood back ready to attack if the need arrived. Naruto was doing what he said, cutting down the trees on fire and making sure the flames didn't spread to other parts of the suburbs.

"They also have gifts, but they use them for good while we waste ours in dangerous fun" he said sadly and also observed Naruto "Even that kitsune who is a twisted soul is helping them to do the right thing" he placed a hand on his brother's shoulder "If we are special, brother, then let us act special, we must help"

"But how? Our gifts can only destroy" Lightning stated.

"True…" Thunder replied before a grin appeared on his face "But together we have another gift"

The two brothers exchanged grins, before with a blast of lightning both flew to the skies.

XXXXXX

Naruto, now done making sure the fire didn't get the city, and the Titans, who were backed into a corner by Fire, stood in front of the monster with tired looks on their faces.

"Hey… Raven" the blond started.

"Yeah?" she responded with tired sigh.

He smiled at her "You won the bet" he said as he and the others braced themselves for the enormous fire creature's next attack… only to hear… drums?

The merc and the heroes looked up in the sky to see the silhouettes of the Strom Twins controlling the clouds, just before rain began to fall. Fire didn't like the feeling of the water on its body as the creature retreated while the rain consumed its body, putting out the flames that made him exist as slowly its body began to shrink with a cloud of steam. Soon, when the cloud of steam died out, all that remained of Fire were a few pieces of coal.

And at that relieving sight the super heroes and the crazy merc began to cheer loudly and to enjoy the rain, it felt nice after fighting a monster that made you feel like being a piece of meat in a BBQ.

XXXXXX

However, with Robin, while his friends were having a break, he was having the air being choked out of him by the strong grip on his throat by the elder man who was a LOT stronger than he let on. The old man frowned in what seemed disappointment as he looked at the hero "Robin, is that the best you can do?"

"He can do a lot better, master"

"What?"

*SMACK!*

The old man was punched back by a steel covered fist, and when he turned he saw in shock none other than Naruto, who smirked at him "Boss knows what you're thinking, master… so let's see how long you can keep it up" the blond said as he turned to Robin and waved at him "By the way, Raven won the bet" he simply said and poofed out of existence in a cloud of smoke.

The old man scowled… before smirking "Well, I always knew that he would one day or another fight me" he said aloud in what seemed pride before turning to the young hero "Robin, you've already met your competition, and it seems you have his respect" was all the man said as he turned, making Robin gasp as he saw the man's 'face' starting to peel off, revealing only one eye behind a metallic orange mask.

And like the clone of the blond, the man was gone in a puff of smoke, leaving a small badge where it once was, a small round golden badge with an 'S' carved in it.

It soon hit Robin as he saw the symbol: "Slade"

XXXXXX

Naruto stood at the sidelines as he saw how Beastboy got thanked by the Storm Twins, but was surprised when the green boy made them thanks Starfire, saying she was the one who taught him what he elarned that day. However, things had to be done, and after seeing the two supernatural teens go back home the blond stood in front of Robin, who, as he promised, was taking off the bracelet he put to make sure the kitsune didn't escape.

"My, my, you do keep your word" the blond said in delight as he rubbed his wrist.

"And you should too, now start talking" Robin ordered.

"Man, you need to take a chill pill and relax, bird boy… but alright, I guess, a deal's a deal" he then reached into his pocket and pulled out a badge identical to the one Robin got after his fight with Slade "As you must know, the guy's name is Slade. An important thing for me to say is that we are rivals, despite him training me to be his heir"

"Wait, what? Time out, my brain hurts!" Beastboy called out "So, you're telling me this guy takes you in, gives you training in cool martial arts and surely must of given you all those cool weapons you have… and you and him fight"

"What do you think? Beastboy's brain finally worked for once" Raven said in her monotone, earning an angry look from said green boy and a laugh from the blond.

"Oh, good one! Who knew you had it in you!" Naruto laughed before calming down "But yeah, you got the idea right. We kind of made a deal, he helped me out to be who I wanted ot be, the very same person before you, Jump City's future king. But the price for that was that he and me will have a match to see who's the best of the best"

"And what did he mean by 'competition'?" Robin asked suspiciously.

Naruto chuckled "Well, you guys are heroes, I am a merc… do the math"

"Oh, come on, nobody said there'd be math!" Beastboy whined at the mention of his worst nightmare besides Starfire's cooking.

Cyborg bonked the green boy atop the head "He means that we have to fight him… um, right?" he stated but asked, knowing the blond, even for whatever few occasions, Naruto could mean something else.

However Naruto smiled "That and that we are enemies, honorable enemies with some good chivalry between us, but enemies nonetheless. Thus Master must want to see who' the best of the best, either I, his apprentice, or you, the heroes" he said with a smile before turning to Raven and chuckle "And, as you see, you won the bet. Though next time I try my luck I might play a bit dirty"

"You keep your hands to yourself or I'll send you to the edge of a boundary of death and suffering" the girl threatened.

But all Naruto did was laugh and wave them goodbye "You're so falling for me, babe" and with that line he was gone in a yellow flash, leaving Raven alone with her anger, literally since the other Titans had run off for a safe spot… before:

"**I'LL KILL HIM!**"

Yep, sometimes it paid off to keep yourself away from an angry girl, more when her emotions can destroy everything around her and create a large empty crater where once stood a forest.

XXXXXX

Naruto, back in his hideout, plopped down on his couch, a beer in one hand, the remote in the other, and began to channel surf as he took a sip from his beer… or tried to, before the can was taken from his hands and was now in Blackfire's, who looked smugly at him.

"You smell like bacon" she said with a playful smile before taking a loud gulp from the can, then let out an unladylike belch "Man, you humans know how to make good stuff!"

The blond smiled as he reached into his couch and pulled out another beer, this one cold as ice, took a zip and smirked at the alien girl "We do… and I still have six more days to see what to do in order to win our bet" he said the last part with a sad smile.

Blackfire however threw herself to the other side of the couch and sat beside him with a large smirk "Actually, you may have a chance" she said handing him a paper "Remember that couch potato? He says he has a plan to have fun with the Titans, and wants your help"

"Well, let's see here" Naruto said as he threw the remote and read the paper half-lazily while drinking his beer "Trap Titans in… blah, blah, blah… have fun in… yaddah-yaddah… pay in advance of… HOLY SHIT! A HUNDRED THOUSAND BUCKS!" he said as he now stood in the couch, beer held dearly as all men knew you can't throw even a drop from such an elixir, it'd be a sin against manliness.

The black haired alien girl smiled as she leaned in the couch and grabbed the remote before channel surfing herself "Uh-huh, and here I thought I could have some fun for such a paycheck" she said with a smile "Besides, even if you still haven't won the bet, I want to see how you mess with the Titans once again" she said and did a bit of her 'charm' by pretending to be hot and lifting her shirt up a bit, revealing a bit of her cleavage "So, can I come?" she asked in a sexy pose.

Naruto looked at her with a wide grin "Do you even have to ask?"

He sat back in the couch, but then the alien girl asked "By the way, what does he mean by 'entering' videogames?"

Naruto gave her a raised eyebrow, then read the paper more carefully, and said the only intelligent thing that could come to his mind after understanding what it all meant:

"Huh?"

**XXXXXX**

**And done! That's a rap, baby! Now, next chapters will be an original arc made by yours truly as I watch and make sure I have all of the episodes of the Titans for the next chapters. Now, for your fun, a little spoiler: Control Freak and our dear foxy merc will go with the Titans to worlds never explored before: the world of videogames!**

**They'll be in one CRAZY adventure full with randomness but with the plot of beating the final boss: Naruto, who will take the place of every bad guy as the Titans take the roles of the heroes.**

**Grab on to your balls, because in this arc I'll be getting crazier than ever! You can't miss comedy, folks!**

**Swordslinger out!**


	5. Chapter 5

I OWN NOTHING, so I'll give you a little message, any craziness you may have, I can top it

**XXXXXX**

Let the games begin!

Jinx, in the middle of lunch break, sat a bit away from her two teammates as she lazily poked her food with her fork, having a far off, dreamy look in her eyes as she thought of a certain blond. How he had showed off in that 'commercial' of himself robbing the bank, mocking the Titans and then run off with the money like a pro was something she as a villainess liked in a guy, more when he was so damn good looking. Hearing he was japanese was something that filled her notebook with doodles of herself in a kimono and a foxy samurai/ninja by her side as well as pictures of foxes with hearts around.

However, she kept it all hidden from the two idiots who were laughing and boasting to some of the other students at being mentioned in TV. She was a villain, damn it, and she was proud of it! She would not be classified as a stupid fan girl no matter how big her crush could be in a guy!

But… Naruto was also very handsome. His clothes might be baggy but her eyes were sharp, and they noted he was very well built, not as much as Slade but strong enough to make the average person look pathetic. She also thought of his eyes, they were foxy and, while full of insanity and a lot of hidden rage, they had a certain lively spark of a prankster and outgoing person she liked. Besides, those damn whisker marks on his cheeks were utterly adorable… she just wanted to pinch them.

She saw him and could only think… but not of how good he looked, which she did when not around him, but when being near the blond her mind had drifted to how he could have become the way he is. He was insane, sadistic but also was loyal and a good sportsman, not to mention he did seem the kind to have honor. To think someone like that existed made her think of how he could have been like that. She as a villain also had a past, and not a happy one despite her young age… so thinking of him and how he could be like that just took her mind to wander around theories, but none of them could make sense, she needed to hear it from him, and she knew that it had to be a secret he'd take to the grave if he could.

She also knew that what Slade had said of Naruto's past had to be truth… that he was used, that he was a 'weapon' for some crazy manipulative bastards and that he surely didn't have it any easier being the dead-last, which could only mean that everyone around him wasn't kind to him. And she could only think one thing, how similar that seemed to her life. The pale skinned girl could only think of how similar Naruto's life sounded to hers, but it sure had to be a lot more painful than what she had to live through. Though she could imagine similarities, she was seen as a freak and a monster due to her powers, and seeing Naruto's fox ears she could only guess the same had to happen to him, even if more painful, and also she didn't get much love, not even from her parents due to how she looked and her abilities, and that made her think that Naruto also had to get passed something like that… it was painful to think of it, but it was what made her who she was, and it surely was something that must have lead Naruto to how he was.

"And the guy's tough too!" the pink haired girl heard Mammoth say as he punched his palm, taking her out of her daydreaming "I once received one of his hits, the guy can crush stone so easy it's scary to think of facing him in battle"

"Urgh, don't remind me" Gizmo groaned at the memory of his fight with the kitsune "Between him and that rust bucket of the Titans I'd like to take a full blast of a ionic cannon from Cyborg than one of his punches"

Then the two grew cocky smirks as Mammoth continued "But despite how strong he was we still gave him a very heavy beating"

Gizmo snorted "Yeah, the guy may be tough, but when facing us he had a run for his money!"

The two then roared in laughter at their story… failing to notice the pink glow in Jinx's hands before it was too late: "STOP LYING!"

Both of the girl's teammates instantly ducked for cover to the other side of the table as she got up from her seat, her hands glowing with a lot of bad luck ready to be released. She was mad, that much was obvious, but there was one thing that didn't quite get to the two guys' skulls: "Why are you mad, Jinx?" Mammoth asked.

Gizmo nodded despite his terror "Yeah, we were telling them how we beat Naru-"

"Oh shut up already!" the girl shouted before hitting both of them dead in the face with her bad luck spell, launching both liars against a wall, to which they actually remained embedded in as the girl growled "You two stupid, ego filled, arrogant idiots! Naruto beat us fair and square without using anything but his own bare hands!" she yelled in anger as she walked away "I hate it when you two act like idiots! And now you insult our new boss with your lies, said boss who can kick our asses faster than what we can blink!"

And with that she stormed off, anger clearly shown in her face as she walked indignantly to her room.

Her two teammates dumbly looked at one another, before asking themselves "What just happened?"

XXXXXX

Jinx entered her dark room and slammed the door closed, before launching herself to the bed face-first, grab her pillow and put it atop her head to avoid hearing anything for the rest of the day, or at least until she had cooled off.

'_Those idiots!_' she thought venomously '_Gloating like that with such stupid lies after hearing his life… can't they show some brains for once and think of how much it hurts to suffer like he must have? No, they had to be the moronic jerks they are and think they are better than Naruto with those false stories… Argh! Those two are so arrogant I just want to…_'

"Having a nice sleep?"

Jinx eyes instantly snapped open and she turned to the source of the voice, her right hand carrying a blast of bad luck ready to get whoever entered her room directly and painfully in the kisser… so imagine her surprise when she found none other than the blond she was thinking about leaning on her door with his arms crossed, his hood down and a large warm smile that made her feel as if her insides were melting, liquid fire were coursing through her veins and butterflies were dancing in her stomach.

"H-How did you get here?" she stammered as a blush as pink as her hair/eyes worked its way in her cheeks.

Naruto smiled and walked to her "The short version is that I got bored and wanted to see HIVE's defense system… by the way, it sucks. It was too easy to get past it" he said truthfully before smiling his insane smile "That, and I wanted to see you…"

Without knowing it, Jinx got incredibly happy "Really?" she asked in a small yell, which she noted a bit too late before fighting back a blush and trying to be as professional as she could "I mean, why would you want to see me?"

Naruto half-ignored the question as he stood in front of her and her bed, Jinx still laying on it, before Naruto turned his back to her and then let himself fall flatly on her bed… laying peacefully there with a large smile beside the now horribly blushing girl whose face was a darker shade of pink than her hair. Naruto smiled at her and chuckled "Man… this bed is really comfy" he said out of the blue before letting another chuckle and turning serious "But I'm here because I need you and your teammates for a mission I have, I do plan on giving you some money if you perform well"

The face of pure happiness Jinx gave him told Naruto he didn't need to hear her answer of "When can we go?"

He chuckled, he would have some fun after all.

XXXXXX

(Later that day)

Back in Naruto's more than humble home, Blackfire hovered atop the sofa with a magazine about mixed martial arts. Naruto found it weird since normally girls would read of fashion, but he liked this side of her, he liked them tough. As the Tamaranean girl flipped through pages to find some moves she liked she also stole a few glances at the blond… why?

Naruto had a small gym which could be accessed by a hidden ladder in the kitchen, and that was where both him and Blackfire were, the girl reading her magazine atop one of the benches near the weights, in one corner was a pinball machine, and in the other side of the room was a basketball hoop, a basketball laying at its feet, in the middle of the room was a boxing ring which she and Naruto used just for the heck of it or to train a bit and learn some moves.

And in the corner of the room where Naruto was there were several sandbags. The alien girl couldn't take her eyes off Naruto, who was doing combinations of fast kicks and punches against the sandbag. She smirked predatorily at what she saw, because she liked what she was seeing.

The blond was wearing only his cargo pants, letting his well built body be seen, at least the torso. He was perfectly sculpted like a boxer, his arms were strong but lean, his pectorals were hard as iron, and he had a fine six pack pectorals showing proudly. He wasn't built like a steroid muncher, but rather as a martial artist, someone who combines speed and strength, like Bruce Lee, but with a much more marked body.

The alien girl actually did like the kitsune, and not like-like but more than that. It wasn't the fact he was handsome, that he had money or even if he was a crazy villain that could destroy a lot of things for fun. No, the brunette liked the foxy merc because he was in sync with her, he was playful and also wanted to get out of the monotony and boredom of most stuff. That and she was really thankful he did save her from her pursuers and even gave her a room in his hideout without asking her for any pay.

He might be insane, but he was kind, attentive to her talking about whatever theme she brought up from her kicking butt to several escapes from police forces and the lies. Also, while most men would have taken advantage, he didn't. Here she was, and she was flirty and also loved to tease him, but, even if it was his insanity or his code of honor, Naruto never took advantage of her 'revelations' or even took a peep at the wrong parts. He did respond and make several remarks about her behavior and how he liked it. That was funny and slightly annoying, funny that he could always found a way to either ignore her moves or make a remark at them, and annoying because actually Blackfire did want him to take advantage of the situation… or maybe that was it, he wanted to annoy her!

Thinking about it, Naruto DID enjoy her flirting and how she would press her body to his… so maybe he wanted… more… At the thought of what that 'more' could mean something very uncharacteristic of the warrior alien girl happened to her: she blushed, a cute pink hue on her cheeks, and sadly she did so when the blond turned to her after being done beating the sand out of the sandbag, literally "Hey, babe, you ok? You're a bit red, you know?" he asked with a grin.

The thoughts of 'more' were shaken from the orange skinned girl's head as well as her blush "No, I was just…" then, she smirked, she couldn't help the chance in front of her "Taking a bit of your heat"

*Whistle!* "Now… that's something I like to hear" the blond said with a wide grin and then grabbed a towel and began to wipe the sweat off him, starting with his face so Blackfire didn't notice his smirk, he knew his training was good for something when he found the glances she discreetly gave him. Once done he walked back to his room, turning to the Tamaranean midway "By the way, babe, there are visits coming, if I'm not ready after my shower then please be a sweetie and welcome them in"

Blackfire huffed a bit in annoyance '_So all I'm good for him is to open doors like a servant?_'

However, before getting out, the blond turned to her and smiled more "Oh, and if for some reason you think all you're good for me is to open doors like a servant… you certainly don't know how much I appreciate your company" he said with the biggest grin on his face yet to the now madly blushing alien girl.

Oh, how he LOVED to tease the alien girl.

XXXXXX

Jinx entered Naruto's hideout, beaming at the sight of such a cool looking place as she walked around… alone.

Now, someone may ask 'Wait, where are Tweedle dumb and Tweedle dumber?' right? Well, the answer is quite simple, since Jinx wanted to know her boss better, get payback for thus insults said to said boss and also because she didn't want to babysit them in a serious mission, there was a small 'accident' on the HIVE three's training session and now both Gizmo and Mammoth were in a sickbed with some broken bones after, somehow, a pillar collapsed over them because of simple bad luck.

But that didn't matter to her, all that did was to see Naruto's place and the taller than her, black haired, orange skinned beauty staring at her in the stairs… Wait, what?

Soon pink eyes locked with black as the pale skinned girl glared at the orange skinned one, the tension being dense enough to cut through it… with a chainsaw. Jinx was the first to speak "Who are you?" she asked the brunette. How dare she live here! This was Naruto's place and Jinx hadn't ever been here! And how dare she have such large mammaries!

Blackfire smirked cockily "The name's Blackfire, and I'm an associate of Naruto's, and as he told me, you must be his little trainee" she said arrogantly to anger the girl… because the alien girl was also angry. Who the heck was this girl? …Was Naruto into flat-chested girls with weirdly colored hair? Well, she'd have to see that it wasn't the case, personally if necessary.

Now, Karma has a weird way to work around… and since Naruto has caused Raven a LOT of troubles by stealing the gothic girl's first kisses… well, the universe found a proper way to make him pay for it. He just happened to not know he'd be in big problems when he entered the place where both villainesses glared at each other.

"WHO'S THIS BIMBO/FLATTIE? ...WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" both girls shouted in unison first turning to Naruto and pointing to the other girl before turning to each other and intensifying their glares.

Karma can be such a bitch.

Naruto sighed, knowing this was going to be a pain "Ok, you two, we're all in this mission together, whether you like it or not" was his ultimate answer as he turned to the two girls, walking in a slow but _threatening_ pace "Now, a small piece of advice"

*CRASH!*

Both girls stared wide-eyed at the large couch that used to be in Naruto's living room, what remained of the furniture was a pile of broken wood, its fabric and the fluffy filling. They now looked fearfully at Naruto, never seeing him like that. His eyes were cold, his mood had done a complete one eighty spin from calm to angered… and they knew they didn't want to piss him off.

The blond then spoke up in an icy tone that forced the two to shiver "If we're doing this, we're doing it as a team, meaning I have NO tolerance to rivalries between you two, NO tolerance to stupidity and NO tolerance of two girls fighting about something stupid like some guy to get in his pants" he then turned to them with an icy, hateful glare "Before I met Slade, before I became the monster I am right here before you two… I used to work on a team… but needless to say I was the one doing all the work"

The kitsune got even angrier as he remembered them, his tone getting more venom in it as he described them: "Our tutor ignored me to train his favorite and even saw fit to all me a monster under his breath countless of times, said favorite acted all smug and arrogant expecting everything to be given to him, and my other teammate was a slut after that prick's imaginary dick, being the MOST useless bitch I've ever seen!"

He took several steps towards them, making the two girls step back… until their backs hit the wall, now they were forced to look up at his hate filled eyes, and he made sure they didn't escape by putting both hands on the wall, one at each side of them so the two didn't escape, the force of his hands being more than enough to leave hand shaped holes in the wall. The poor duo of super villainesses was utterly terrified, and he knew that, so he used it to his advantage with his next words:

"But by now you must have noted I am angry, right?" both girls frightfully nodded "Good, because there is a reason why I'm mad: those fuckers manipulated me so I could save their asses, using me as a weapon, a tool to throw away should I become too dangerous for them or EVEN boring, you get it? Boring!" he shouted and punched the wall, leaving a hole in the shape of his fist besides their heads as he turned even angrier "But that's not the worst, no, the worst part is this…"

The two girls' veins turned into ice as he spoke the words they would never forget: "They backstabbed me, literally and figuratively. They killed me for power, or tried to, because when I saw how full of shit they were… I killed them all, and oh God did it feel good to do it, to be free of them" he said… now his face turning back to his insane, terrifying smile.

Then he turned "You do not want to make me see a failure of a team like that again, trust me, because if I have to live through all of that stupidity and arrogance ONCE more…" he took a moment to inhale deeply this time, to calm himself, before ending his threat "I'll tell you this, if I ever see something that reminds me in any way of the things I hate… I will either destroy it or make sure it NEVER happens… ever again"

And with that he stormed off, leaving the two alone. They felt the harshness of his tone wash over them, and for some reason, both Jinx and Blackfire, both who usually were the type who liked being in control, enjoyed being talked down to by the dominant blond. However, they also knew he meant business, and that if he wanted they could be crushed so easily that it'd be better for them to fight all five of the Titans alone.

Jinx, being more of the intellectual type, turned to her fellow assistant and, though reluctantly, asked "Truce?" while extending her hand to the brunette.

Blackfire stared at the hand stretched to her with a bit of disbelief, but the thought of an angry Naruto made her shake it "If it means we don't get on his bad side… I'm game"

Jinx nodded and the two walked behind the blond, however, she was still a bit sour at the other girl living with Naruto, but remembering that it was a BAD idea to make him mad, she swallowed it and decided to talk, at least to know how much of a threat the alien girl was to her: "By the way… who are you?"

"Isn't it customary of this planet and several others to introduce yourself first before asking that question?" she returned, but answered nonetheless "But if you need to know, the name's Blackfire"

"Well, the name's Jinx and…wait…" Jinx noted the name and some similarities with another orange skinned girl, thus asked "Are you related to a goody-goody two shoes named Starfire?"

"She's my little sister" Blackfire replied with a sigh "That girl is too innocent and good hearted… it annoys the heck outta me, she should have some fun and blow things up instead of devoting herself to useless heroism"

"True" Jinx nodded with a small smile… maybe she could like this girl and even befriend her, heck, even go _shopping_ (in black markets) with her after earning their cut from Naruto's paycheck… but there was one reason why she couldn't like the alien girl: "What are you to Naruto?"

The instant that question got out of Jinx's lips both villainesses stood still, giving the other dark looks.

Blackfire however responded "I am sort of his co-worker, however this is the first job I take with him in account that I want to have fun with him… and I mean fun in a lot of ways, girl" she said as her gaze turned icy "He took me in after getting rid of some guys chasing me to put me in jail, since then I've been living here with him, He gave me food, a roof to live under and even offered me to go and have fun either with or without him, either on missions on our own… and he's so kind that I… can't just take the offer, it'd feel as if I'm taking too much from him"

Both girls suddenly stopped glared at each other knowing how that felt as Jinx replied "I'm… his henchwoman, he gave me my first job as a villain, and I must say I had fun beating your little sister and her friends. He took me and my useless teammates out of harm's way, and even fought us, but even if he did fight us, he didn't harm me, though my teammates were knocked out with one hit. But even if we failed, he not only stood up for us, but even took us as his henchmen… heck, he even stood as far as to threaten my principle to make sure we didn't get harmed"

Now, a small silence reigned, Jinx looked away and grabbed her arm in shame, rubbing it. Blackfire also looked away scratching he back of her head before sighing "You know, I actually just can't believe what he told us, to tell you the truth"

Jinx nodded "I can't believe… that he, after what he did for you and me… well, I just can't picture him like that" the pink haired girl took a breath and let it out in a sigh "When I heard of him by my contractor, when I met him and after hearing what he just told us… I just feel as if I should… you know, make it up for him"

The alien girl gave the shorter girl a disbelieving look with a raised eyebrow "Aren't you supposed to be a villain?" she asked genuinely curious.

Jinx nodded "Yes, but it is because I am bad luck, I can't be good… however, I can tell he suffered kind of like me but worse, a lot worse. So you know what we say in this planet, birds of a same feather fly together"

Blackfire nodded with a small smile on her lips "I also want to make it up for him, I mean, not only did he save me, but he did so with the odds saying it'd be best to leave me behind, and he's damn fun despite what happened to him. When I was in my planet, things were so boring, I felt so controlled and just wanted to… well, be free. I think that's what links me to Foxy; we both want to be free"

Jinx smiled too "I feel the same, to tell you the truth most of the things I do, like robbing and taking what I want, I do so to say 'Here I am, world, do your worst!' and cliché stuff like that"

Both girls shared a laugh, before Blackfire extended her hand to Jinx "Well, you and I could have some fun, let's start again. My name is Blackfire"

Jinx nodded and accepted the handshake with a grin "And my name's Jinx. Now, let's kick some Titan butt with Naruto"

The alien grinned back "Yeah, let's"

XXXXXX

(Titan Tower – Midnight, Living Room)

A certain shadowy figure with a hood was actually walking along the big glass window that let the Titans see the city. Using its position the figure raised one leg before kicking the glass out of his way, leaving a decently shaped hole big enough to let himself slip by and to blame the 'culprit' as he entered the dark room.

In a few moments the Titans were in the room, scanning it for unwelcome guests, a bare foot Robin in a pair of simple blue pants and short sleeved shirt pajama combo but with his mask STILL on, having learned from Batman never to take it off, Cyborg looked the same as always since he was mostly metal and didn't need clothes and if he did they'd probably get too greasy in his room, Starfire was in a full pajama set of long pink sleeved shirt and pants with pink bunny slippers, Raven had her leotard on and no more besides a pair of fluffy purple slippers, and Beastboy was only in his purple boxers.

Despite all of them drawing a sleepy picture they checked the now illuminated room after Cyborg turned on the lights. With a quick scan he was able to find the 'culprit' in the middle of the shattered glass on the floor "A seagull?" he asked genuinely confused as he inspected the bird, before giving a sad sigh "Poor guy must of gotten lost searching for a place to stay"

"Is the feathery creature alive?" asked a genuinely concerned Starfire.

"Let me see" Raven said and put her hand on the bird with a dark glow engulfing it… in a few seconds the seagull began to flap its wings and then flew out of the room by the hole in the window "Yeah, he's fine"

Robin let out a loud yawn and turned to bed "Alright guys, let's return back to bed, we all need our rest. We'll repair the window tomorrow at first hour. Cyborg, turn the alarms on to avoid any uninvited guests"

"Done already" the large teen said proudly as he returned to bed "Now, I really need my beauty sleep, tomorrow I need to look good when I kick B's butt in our newest game"

"In your dreams, Chrome Dome!" the short boy replied as they turned back to sleep, Beastboy and Cyborg fighting about who'd win tomorrow, Starfire looking excited and curious about the odd 'earthly custom of butt-kicking', Robin ignoring them and rubbing the sleep in his eyes and Raven looking stoic as ever.

The poor squad of heroes didn't note the now hoodless Naruto drop from the ceiling and walk to the console. Reaching into his hoodie he pulled out a disk with Control Freak's symbol in it and took out the one inside the Titans' game station, put said game in its own box and then put said box in his hood… Hey, he IS a bad guy, so of course he'd take something for himself, mostly if it was a neat game… and maybe all the other games too.

Snickering to himself he started to fill his hoodie with the endless amounts of games there was, after all, the Titans were heroes, and heroes would always help people, and he was in the need of help, he needed help to entertain himself. So, since he knew the Titans were kind and giving as well as sacrificing he knew they wouldn't mind if he took a few of his games, and by a few this writer means near three digits. Besides, Cyborg and Beastboy had so many games that they wouldn't notice some of them missing… and Naruto BARELY noted a difference after he stuffed his hoodie with games.

Once done helping himself with video game epic goodness he put the disk his once again temporary boss gave him and inserted it in the game station.

With a smirk of satisfaction he turned to the window to get out of the place… until an idea came to his head.

'_I'm in the Titan Tower, I have access to their place, can do whatever the hell I want while I'm here as long as I'm silent and once I'm gone the alarm won't detect me since I'm leaving, not entering this place… meaning_' the blond chuckled "Prank time, Titans…" he sang.

(Robin's room)

Entering this place without awakening the hero was tough, Naruto knew that the bird themed boy was alert 24/7 and even in his sleep. Heck, he doubted he even could sleep after seeing the place, which looked like an old fifties private detective's office with photos of criminals around, but Naruto prided himself at being the main target judging by the large amounts of sketches and photos of him in his hood. However, he had a job to do, so with the help of a clone and a sleeping gas to ensure the shorter teen didn't wake up Naruto easily managed this prank with a large beaming smile.

(Starfire's room)

The alien girl was peacefully sleeping with a large stuffed bunny pinched in between her legs in a round table, her room was very girly and had nice curtains. She was sleeping so peacefully it was almost a shame to prank her… almost.

(Cyborg's room)

The mechanical hero's room was mostly a lab for highly advanced technology; a big metal table was what Cyborg used as a bed and to recharge his batteries. However said recharges put him in a near coma state, so he was completely oblivious of the blond rummaging through his stuff and re-wiring some of the large panels.

(Beastboy's room)

This room… was a mess. Clothes piled everywhere, large amounts of comics here and there, posters of typical teen movies covering the walls and a bunker bed was what most would notice, though the bunker bed was only notable due to the snoring green boy in it. Naruto actually didn't want to prank him, this kid was a prankster like him, and the smell of his dirty laundry was mostly toxic… so he settled with getting some of the comics that were in good shape and didn't have moss, pizza leftovers or tofu on them.

He then saw a sock in the floor, a gym sock, he picked up the sock with two fingers, pinching it closely to his nose, taking a small whiff "*Sniff* *Sniff* Hmm…" he said, reminiscing in his mind "2003. A very good year" He complimented the aroma.

(Raven's room)

Naruto grinned at the figure of a peacefully sleeping Raven, he was in her room, a very gothic stereotype with dark books, furniture, decoration and colors. He smiled and looked at the girl sleeping peacefully there "You're such a cutie, you know that?" he rhetorically asked in a whisper with a silent chuckle.

Then he reached for her hair and began to stroke it. He was pleasantly surprised when she instinctively reached for his touch, his smile widening but not into his insane smirk, but into a true warm smile "Truly… you and I share a lot, I do know you have a demon in your life, not something that gives you a happy childhood" he said with the last part running his smile a bit sad as he turned and left, now leaving the Tower for good.

However he did find some very colorful stuff he did NOT expect to see in her drawers, said stuff now in his pants pockets. After all, how could he leave such a rare sight out of his grasp? Not every day you see a girl as stoic as Raven wearing a pair of black panties with small purple hearts in it acting as polka dots (I know you guys would love to be the blond right now).

(The next morning)

Robin began to stir, slowly opening his eyes beneath his mask. He felt refreshed, very well rested; he yawned, "Boy, I can't remember the last time I slept that good. Feels like I…"

Robin was cut short as he noticed that he felt rather warm. Pulling back the covers with one hand, he felt as if something were weighing him down from his side. Slowly turning his head, he lifted the covers from beside him to find Starfire fast asleep!

"STARF-" Robin caught himself, lowering the volume and shock in his voice just in time "Starfire? What are you doing in my…" he whispered, questioning why she was sleeping in his room. Unfortunately, as Robin surveyed his surroundings, he became painfully aware that they were not in his room. He was in Starfire's room, in bed, and with her sound asleep next to him.

Starfire slept soundly on her side, hugging Robin's arm and with her legs pinching his waist, making it impossible for him to move. The hero instantly but slowly made a cautious attempt to remove his body without waking her, but every attempt to loosen his arm from Starfire's hold resulted in her tightening her grasp, smiling dreamily, nuzzling against his shoulder.

"Just my luck" he whispered to himself, blushing heavily "Starfire clings to things in her sleep"

Robin waited a moment for her movement to settle, taking a deep breath. But, sadly for him, Starfire began to stir too, he remained silent in the hopes that Starfire was still asleep. A minute passed, Robin holding his breath, scanning for any sign or sound of Starfire's awakening. After observing nothing but total silence, he finally relaxed, slowly exhaling.

"Phew," he sighed in relief, "That was clo-"

*BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!*

Starfire's alarm clock went off. Her arm swung almost instinctively as she rolled over, smashing the clock, the nightstand, and much of the general vicinity into the ground. This, of course, stopped Robin's heart dead in its last beats as he slowly turned to see Starfire lazily sit up and begin rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

And then she finally noted Robin by her side, with her hugging his arm tightly and her legs pinching his waist.

(Cyborg's room)

"Hell yeah!" the bald Titan hollered as he woke up "Man, that was what I call a sleep, I feel so refreshed!" Then he stood up and walked to the consoles in his wall and began to push the buttons with a smile on his face "Let's see what's in schedule tod-"

*BZZZZT!*

Turning his head to the sound of his dearly beloved consoles going haywire the large teen was greeted by sparks flying around in most of his equipment and systems, so with a loud "Oh crap!" he ran at them, pushing buttons here and there to get them working once again… but everything he did didn't give him the result he wanted, until…

"_Warning! Warning! Security protocol initiating!_"

"What do you mean security protocol? I built you!" Cyborg cried as he tried to get things to work the way they were supposed to.

"_Menace detected, now initiating combat schedule!_"

"WHAT?" Cyborg shouted, now completely angry, he ran to the computer's panel "Come on! Come on!" he frantically backhanded the monitor and began to pound, slam, and even pick up the monitor itself and shake it vigorously "Come on, ya pumped up piece of cheap hardware! I am your freakin' creator! Ya can't do this to m-"

His last word died in his throat when he turned and saw large robotic arms fly at him, ready to tear him apart.

"CY!" Cyborg turned to see Beastboy entering the room, tears falling from his eyes as he ran to his friend "Cy, someone… someone... someone stole my comics!" he cried. Cyborg face-palmed, grabbed the green teen by his head and creaked it so he could see the arms lunging now at both of them in the spam of three seconds.

"Oh snap!" was all the short boy could say before the two began to battle for their very lives against Cyborg's defense and maintenance system even.

XXXXXX

Meanwhile, outside of the Titan Tower in a nearby dock, Naruto rested his hands on the typical binoculars that you could put a coin in to see something in the far side, he smiled as he waited for the results while looking at his clock as he started the countdown "Activating shit storm in three… two… oooooooooooooooone-now"

And so the shit storm did activate.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

*BOOM!* *BOOM!* *CRASH!* *BOOM!*

Even from the docks it was easy to hear the screams of terror, and embarrassment in Starfire's case, followed by explosions around the tower, most of them concentrated in Cyborg's room and a very large one on Starfire's as what a large blast smoked her wall, however there was no body meaning Robin had managed to avoid the star bolt. But this didn't sadden Naruto in the least.

He turned around and back to his hideout to start the mission, smiling proudly like a boss "My job here is done"

XXXXXX

Back in the Titan Tower, everyone entered the living room without their usual cheer, Raven looked at them with a raised eyebrow as she had been woken up by the large screams and explosions. Robin was still a bit crispy after some of Starfire's star bolts got him, said alien girl blushing madly after what happened and looking away from him, Beastboy was down looking at the ground miserably at having lost his comics and both him and Cyborg looked as if they had gone through a meat grinder.

"What just happened to you?" Raven finally asked.

They turned their heads to her, and in unison answered "Please, do not ask"

She gave a raised eyebrow but decided to simply remain silent and sit in the sofa, a book in hand to ignore what was to come next.

However, Beastboy, hater of bad times and boredom, ran to the game station and grabbed a controller, throwing another to Cyborg "Well, whatever happened can wait, I know just what I need to forget my lost comics, and that's to kick tin can's butt!"

"In your dreams, tofu breath!" Cyborg replied as he caught the controller and ran to sit on the sofa besides a now annoyed Raven, Beastboy taking the other side as both sat there smiling like idiots at the idea of playing heir new game.

Robin sighed and massaged his temples "Come on guys, we need to find out who did this to us, not play games!"

Beastboy grinned "Well, I need to keep my morale high to do so!"

And with that he turned on the game… only for the screen to show static… before going black… and a vortex appeared out of it! The Titans were too shocked to react as the wind from the portal began to suck them up into the screen.

Cyborg, being the heaviest of them, grabbed Beastboy, who being the lightest of the team was easily being sucked into the vortex while the large metal teen attempted to walk away from it. Starfire had grabbed onto the kitchen counter since she wanted to make breakfast, the rather… unique ingredients from other planets flying into the vortex as it tried to suck them in. Robin had used his grapple gun to attach himself to the wall. Raven for her part attempted to fly away.

Robin, tightly gripping the rope separating himself from the vortex, shouted to the green teen "Beastboy, what did you do? Where the heck did you get this game?"

The short boy shouted back "I don't know! This was never mentioned in the manual!"

"You actually read the manual?" Cyborg asked more shocked by the fact someone like Beastboy would read than they were all being sucked in by a black hole that appeared on their TV screen.

But this question remained unanswered as the vortex grew stronger, and soon Raven, who was still airborne despite flying away from it, was the first to enter it while screaming loudly. Starfire reached for her despite being so far "Friend Raven!" she cried… and soon her grip on the counter was lost and she too was sucked in.

"Starfire!" Robin shouted and let go of the grapple gun, jumping after the alien girl.

"Dudes!" Beastboy shouted as he tried to reach them, but Cyborg wouldn't let go of his friend "Come on, Cy! We need to save them!"

"Are you outta whatever you call a mind?" Cyborg retorted "There's no telling where we'll end"

However, Beastboy grinned… albeit a sad smile "Sorry dude, but I gotta help them any way I can" and with those words he got out of Cyborg's grip and dived into the vortex.

"Argh… dammit!" the large Titan cried as he jumped after his friends "Next time we get a game we need to think about it twice!" he shouted to curse his bad luck.

XXXXXX

Naruto was back in his place, a massive smile on his face as he looked at the grinning duo of Jinx and Blackfire who had awaited for his arrival and Control freak, who had a handful of cables in his hands and a big smirk on his face.

The blond waved at them "So, is it ready?"

Control Freak soon began to laugh "It is! And we're in for one heck of a show, Master Naruto! Hahahahahaha!"

The blond gave a raised eyebrow to the way the villain referred to him, but ignored it and turned to the girls "So, ladies, wanna have fun?"

"You bet" both replied with seductive grins.

The couch potato stepped to Naruto and handed him a remote "If you'd be so kind to do the honors, master" the villain said and Naruto grinned. He actually liked to be seen as a superior.

The blond soon laughed "Alright, Titans! Let's get it on!"

**XXXXXX**

**Evil cliffy! That's a rap for now! Next chapter our five superheroes, crazy merc, his two sexy assistants and his new henchman/admirer/sort of pet will go in the craziest parts of my twisted mind. So yeah, do expect a LOT of randomness and fun.**

**Swordslinger out!**


	6. Chapter 6

This is a list of the fics I can't continue making, sorry but the inspiration left me and I just cannot keep up: A Kitsune's Life, Titanic Kitsune (maybe), Umbra Vixen, No More Kitsunes, Wise Kitsune, Vengeance and Righteousness, and the two Negima fics. Sorry fellas but I cannot keep on writing them... I might not delete them and even keep on writing them, though doing some modifications to the chapters, but as said before I lost my inspiration for them...

No, don't blame it on lack of reviews, I never cared about those. I only made thee fics for myself yet I, as a writer, am getting better and evolving and when looking back at the past I somewhat smile yet feel ashamed of some of my mistakes... Sigh... I wish I could keep on making you all happy with those fics but by the end of this day I'll either delete them or create a new, better version

Whatever their fates are they'll be posted in a few hours, and nobody will change my mind once I do it


	7. Chapter 7

The re-written version is basically the same, but the difference is, as you guess by the title, about the blond being a gangster leader, trained by Slade and, like before, being crazy as Hell as he enjoys giving hell to the Titans.

IMPORTANT NOTES

**Harem**: Jinx, Blackfire, Raven, Starfire and Cheshire

**Slight bashing**: I don't like this Robin that much, don't get me wrong I don't hate him, just dislike him because he's kind of a prick and the whole Red X thing angered me: he fooled his team because he was obsessed with Slade, not because he cared for them, nor even telling them a thing because he only wanted to fight and beat Slade, this reminds me of Sasuke and his anger/emo issues against Itachi. At least Robin, unlike the real prick, does care for his team and all... yet needs to mature, a LOT, he's not my favorite but at least not one of my most hated characters. He COULD of stop being obsessive when fighting against crime and trying to be like Batman in the "I am a badass loner who needs no help" because only the bat does it in style while Robin's performance is rather lacking and mostly emo.

I like him WAY more in Young Justice because he's a team player, he cares for his friends before anything and does make good jokes, him taking the second spot in there makes it all better, he's the jester who along Wally, the comic relief, makes some of the best comments... I mean: whelmed, turbed and aster DESERVE to be on T-shirts! But anyways, in here he'll not be bashed like REAL bastards in my other fics, it'll mostly be him getting pranked. Fairly be warned you Robin fans, he's going to be the butt-monkey of this fic, least in the fact he's always getting the shortest straw.


End file.
